20 Common Things People Do But Are Too Embarrassed To Admit
1. Stalking exes on Facebook.
Looks up their ex on Facebook
2. Attempting auto-fellatio.
I’m pretty sure at least every dude has attempted to suck their own dick once.
3. Peeing in the shower.
Pee in the shower. Helicopter dick. Both at the same time.
4. Peeing in the sink.
Having a wee in the sink.
5. Talking to themselves while driving.
Have conversations with themselves while driving
6. Wondering if other drivers find them attractive.
Look at people in other cars in traffic and wonder if they find you attractive.
7. Picking their nose.
Nose-picking.
8. Inspecting their used toilet paper.
Take a quick look at the shit on the toilet paper before dropping it into the toilet.
9. Smelling themselves.
Sniff their finger after scratching their balls/nether regions.
10. Smelling others’ clothes.
Haha, intensely smelling an article of clothing which belongs to someone else. Especially someone you like.. And, or smelling your clothes intensely after hanging out with them. I’m guilty on this one.
11. Imagining others naked.
Wonder how they look naked.
12. Imagining friends and family members having sex.
When a friend or family member tells you they’re pregnant you automatically picture them having sex with their SO.
13. Imagining how others will die.
Think about all the different ways they could die, then wonder how/who would miss them.
14. Regretting the decision to breed.
I have a suspicion that a lot of people regret having children but if you admitted it, people would think you’re a horrible person.
15. Wondering whether others are laughing at them.
I actually have no idea if others do this but I hope I’m not alone….
Everytime a nearby group of people start laughing or smiling I assume they’re laughing at me for some reason. Even though i can’t possibly imagine what they might be laughing about I just feel like it’s at me.
16. Wondering whether women on the street think they’re a rapist or murderer.
This only really applies to guys, but when I am walking somewhere and happen to be following the same path as a woman in front of me, I worry that she thinks I’m following her and that I’m some sort of rapist or murderer. I tend to fall back, or sometimes bite the bullet and walk past.
17. Checking out other guys’ junk at the gym.
I gotta go with looking at dongs at the gym. There is extensive wiener peeking going on, but nobody ever says anything. I believe one day, man will become comfortable enough with his masculinity to say the words “Nice wienie bro” and not be embarrassed.
18. Going through friends’ belongings.
Go through their friends’ shit when they’re not around
19. Pretending a pillow is a person.
Hug my pillow like it’s a person
20. Creating a makeshift mangina.
Every man has put their penis between their legs to make a vagina.
