This Is The Kind Of Love I Hope You Find After Me

When you gaze into her eyes, you’ll know. You won’t question, you won’t push, you won’t be frustrated. It will be so easy, transparent—everything we were not.

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She’ll be beautiful. She won’t be concerned about her appearances because she has you, and you love her. That’s enough for her. She’s not searching for someone else like I was. She craves someone like you. You are enough. She’ll stand stunning on her own, but when she’s with you, all of the boys and girls will halt in place, watch as she radiates in your arms, and secretly whisper words of jealousy, loathing her for how beautiful she is with you. She won’t look at them. Only you.

She’ll speak the same language as you. When you two speak, symphonies will play from your lips. When the older man at the cafe we frequented overhears you singing, he’ll stop reading his newspaper, place his coffee on the table, and swoon at the waves your voices create. Together, you will conduct your own orchestra, musically dancing through the streets, conversing in the same tongue. Your language will sound brand new.

She’ll be intelligent. When you rest your head beside hers at night, the world will pause for a few seconds. She’ll state a fact you didn’t know, one she read in a book earlier that day. The corner of your mouth will curl into a smile. You’ll wonder where she obtained her intelligence, unsure how someone so brilliant could care deeply for you. You’ll never have met anyone as naturally smart and curious as her. She won’t use her intelligence to manipulate you like we did to each other. She’ll use it to enhance you.

She’ll be relaxed. She’ll create time for you even when there is no time left in the day. She’ll bring you lunch at work and ease your stress. She’ll remind you that you’re working to develop a life together, and at the end of the day, you’ll be alone with one another and everything will be fine. She’ll balance your pain with her coolness. You’ll really then begin to wonder how, after all the time I couldn’t find for you, she made it so simple to find time.

She’ll love you through and through. When she slips her fingers between yours, electricity will bleed through your veins as you wonder how someone could fit so perfectly into your hands. When you gaze into her eyes, you’ll know. You won’t question, you won’t push, you won’t be frustrated. It will be so easy, transparent—everything we were not. Her love will be straightforward.

We were not meant to have this kind of love. We were not meant to spend our lives together. We were meant to introduce love to one another, learning what love truly can be, and then share it with the person we were meant to be with.

Only the two of you will have this kind of love. I hope you find her. She is everything you need.