We were creatures of habit
strong habits with strong addictions.
We met
using our addictions to our advantage
and it should have been the first sign of failure.
It isn’t right to meet someone
knowing the way you met them
will be the way you destruct them.
As every weekend approached
our addictions grew closer to each other
but drew us farther apart
without us realizing it.
You were addicted to temporary happiness
the temporary happiness of money
finding money in a place that didn’t
necessarily make you happy
the temporary happiness of substances
substances you took to be mistakenly happy
but not to live properly in the moment
temporary happiness in woman
woman you rushed to love
and loved to let go
assuming you knew their inner happiness
because you were only addicted to the initial rush
And I was addicted to curiosity and learning
curiosity behind traveling to new places
and meeting new people
people who would show me worlds
that I had never seen before
and I so easily fell in love with.
I was addicted to learning about other people
the way their minds thought
and their bodies moved
and the inner workings of their hearts
what their passions were and what they loved to do
which sometimes meant me
and sometimes I wonder,
if we had known this all along,
would things be different
if we learned how to fully love someone?
if we learned to enjoy small moments?
if we learned to slow time briefly?
if we learned to control our addictions?
But we rushed so quickly
and so rashly
out of our addiction to each other
that it felt like just a breath in time
and sometimes,
a breath is all it takes
for a moment to disappear
and for us to pick up the pieces
before we can clear our heads
and let our addictions continue again.