The Pain Of Losing You

Alf Santos
Alf Santos

They say that the best writing in life
comes from the pain life gives us
the pain we feel as times change
the pain we feel as time passes
and the pain we feel from others.

So I thought I would write this
because of the pain I feel
from you.

I feel pain burning throughout my thighs
because today I ran 15 miles.
I usually run four, at best,
but today I ran a half marathon.

I thought I could run the pain of you
out of me.

I feel pain in my fingers
because today I wrote for four hours
I’m lucky if I ever got time to write
when I was with you.

I thought I could express all of the emotions I felt for you
on paper
instead of to you.

I feel pain in my head
because last night, I didn’t sleep.
I usually don’t sleep much
but last night, I didn’t sleep at all.

I thought that maybe if I didn’t sleep, I wouldn’t dream
of you.

I feel pain in my liver
because last night, I drank a fourth a bottle
of tequila.

They say tequila makes a person’s clothes fall off
and I wanted to know if I could feel that way
with someone other than you.

I thought maybe if there was someone else,
I wouldn’t remember what tequila was like
with you.

But out of all the places I feel pain
the one place where it should be
is absent.

I don’t feel pain in my heart
and maybe it was the running
and the writing
and the lack sleep
and the drinking

or maybe it was because I always knew
that I would never feel the pain
I wanted to with you

because as I’ve completely torn my body apart
as I’ve worn myself down
and can’t feel too much left of myself.

I realize the pain already passed
when I knew your infatuation with me
ended and we let ourselves
become comfortable.

During that comfort, there was a moment
when my uncharacteristic happiness with you paused
and I wrote the way I felt
and that was when I knew
my pain had already passed with you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Liz Rae

Entrepreneur traveling the world and writing about her escapades.

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