I have always put my “all” into the pursuit of love, which has resulted in some people handing my heart back to me in shattered remains.

In moments of sadness and anger, I would look at those pieces and think that I must not be meant for a great love. It felt like each time I tried and failed to find the real thing, my heart would break into smaller and more jagged pieces.

And, I think that’s where most of us get caught up. We see our pain and we think that it somehow makes us less loveable. We feel like we failed a test or that we aren’t worth it. We either start to settle for lesser relationships or we don’t even try at all. Both options do us a huge disservice.

Because no matter how broken you feel, those pieces once fit together and made you whole. And, even with all of the wreckage of your past romances, those pieces can make you whole again.

So, with time, you are going to heal.

And, part of that process includes healing your relationship with yourself. You need to start giving yourself the love you’ve been looking for from others. You need to see that failed relationships are caused by several things: lack of compatibility, timing, different goals. The failed relationship does not mean that you are a failure or that you aren’t worth love. It NEVER means that. It just means you weren’t meant for love at that time with that particular person.

Moving forward, I hope that you don’t ever let a failed relationship define who you think you are. Because you are so much more than that. I hope that you never let a failed relationship keep you from putting your heart back out there someday. I hope that you never, even for a second, utter the words “no one is ever going to want me” or “I’m never going to be enough for someone” because those phrases could not be further from the truth.

And as you find healing, I hope you find growth and clarity. Because nothing about finding love or finding yourself is easy. Growth can be painful. It challenges the demons in your head trying to convince you that you’re not worth it. But, it is also brave and liberating. Because we are so quick to turn the blame on ourselves or criticize who we are when often times, it’s not about us. That person or relationship or circumstance just wasn’t meant for us.

That doesn’t mean you aren’t going to find happiness down the line, it just means this particular story wasn’t meant for you.

So, while you wait for that right person, be the love that you need right now. Own your flaws before you let them own you. Embrace that you are enough, single or taken. Take steps to love the person that you’re becoming. Because you are worth loving in every phase of your life. And, it’s about time that you experienced the healing powers of accepting who you are. Know that your worthiness will never be decided by any relationship other than the one you have with yourself.