1.
Past behavior is the only predictor of future behavior that we have.
So if she’s fucked people I think are drongos, dropkicks or fuckwits, I’m going to take that as a sign of poor decision making, and I’m avoiding that.
2.
If somehow ALL of her exes were bad, then she was likely the problem. That is an instant red flag for me. However, if her dating history is more normal then it makes no difference to me.
3.
There’s a girl I know that I’m extremely attracted to physically, but knowing that she dated a guy that I hate is a huge turn-off. I also know that he has herpes, so I just assume she probably has it now too.
4.
As it pertains to their sexual history, I don’t want to know. Honestly, how many times have you asked someone their history and then felt the exact same about them after the new revelations? It’s something deeply personal about someone that almost always changes how you feel about them. And I’d rather not know it. There is no perfect person, and you have to make concessions somewhere. If I can, I avoid knowing about a woman’s history because I know 95% of the time, it’s gonna be something I don’t want to hear.
—Mu0
5.
Both quantity and quality affect my feelings on this. Sex says a lot about your character. This is why I don’t ask about a woman’s sexual history. The less I know, the better. I’ve never gotten close to a woman, found out about her sexual past, and became more attracted to her as a result. It’s always the opposite.
I also don’t care how long a girl waited to have sex in the past.
6.
If she slept with any of my friends, is the type of girl to sleep with everyone on the football team, fraternity, band, or has a past of dating guys who sell drugs/are in a gang that’s a no to dating them.
Also, the type of girl to go after someone famous to sleep with them just to have bragging rights is also a no.
7.
It would only matter to me if they’d dated somebody I really hated.
8.
If she’s dating low-value guys then there’s a reason for it. If she’s dating high-value guys then there’s a reason for it.
If I really like a girl but all of her past partners/boyfriends have been low-lifes I’m going to be very skeptical.
9.
I honestly don’t care as long as she’s clean and doesn’t have a record of cheating.
10.
If she’s fucked a guy who I don’t like or find repulsive, then my attraction to her goes down as a result of thinking she makes bad decisions.
11.
I guess I’m in the minority here but dating and sexual history doesn’t bother me at all.
12.
I’ve immediately been unattracted to girls I had really big crushes on after they fucked friends I thought were dirty and morons. I’d rather not know a girl’s history. Past is the past, but sometimes it makes things 100 times harder and people less attractive.
13.
I don’t care if she’s had sex with a lot of other guys.
But if she’s been unfaithful in relationships before, we’re going to have problems.
14.
I mean, I am not really interested in knowing who she has had sex with before me. Neither am I interested in her number. Though if it is so high that she would tell me even though I didn’t ask I would just feel like a tool and a number, and like she didn’t care for me to begin with.
So no, it doesn’t affect my attraction, because I wouldn’t ask to know, and if she told me anyway I would just go “nope!”
15.
A girl who has fucked a whole football ball team of dudes by the time I’ve met her probably isn’t the type of girl I want to be with because she’s literally for everybody.
I’m 21 and a full football roster is 53 guys…if you’ve fucked 30-55 guys by this age range, you’re easy and a hoe to me. I’d be down to hook up with you, but nothing serious will come out of this.
You could very well just like sex but that still don’t change my view.
On the flip side, if you’re a woman, single, and 35-45 and have been with 20-45 guys it seems a little better given your age and time, but I’d be wondering why you aren’t settled down, or if you have been in something serious at all.
16.
I don’t think I’d want to know. One of my roommates put it best. She said if she’s attracted to the guy she’s with then other women would have been attracted to him too, but it’s all the in past and she really didn’t want to know details.
I had another friend that said she would want her partner to know every detail about her past sex life (she’s been with a lot of people). She gets upset when guys don’t want to know all the details. That perspective is not for me and frankly. I don’t see how a guy picturing his girl with any number of other guys is a benefit to the current relationship in any way.
And if she had a phase where she was just sleeping around, I could deal with that if she’s removed from that phase. Again if I’m sure were committed, no need to keep re-visiting it.
17.
I might be able to share some insight, although I must say upfront that I am equally, if not more flawed than my former SO, who I had probably way too much knowledge of her past sexual relations.
Anywho, she was legitimately what would be considered a slut, and for quite a long time. I was physically attracted to her before I knew this about her, and we became friends with benefits in a sense, and well, frankly I was just one of many of these “friends with benefits” that she had, among numerous other one-night stand type dudes. Well, she slutted it up for a couple years while she and I would have
Anywho, she was legitimately what would be considered a slut, and for quite a long time. I was physically attracted to her before I knew this about her, and we became friends with benefits in a sense, and well, frankly I was just one of many of these “friends with benefits” that she had, among numerous other one-night stand type dudes. Well, she slutted it up for a couple years while she and I would have semi-frequent sexual encounters, and I became attached and decided I wanted to gf her up because I truly really liked her. Now, here’s where the blame lies with me; she became my girlfriend, even when I knew of numerous dudes she had fucked (some of whom are my close friends), and I justified the whole thing by saying “oh well if I could have gotten laid all the time by different chicks I would have too.” And maybe so, in fact, almost certainly so. But here’s the thing, I didn’t and she did.
I couldn’t shake the fact that she had been a slut, and hey maybe that’s on me and my psyche. Either way, for the entire two-year relationship, I was one foot in, one foot out. I was really happy to be with the girl who I’d had a crush on for YEARS. However I couldn’t give her the respect and love she deserved because I knew so much about her past, I in a lot of ways considered myself to be above her and better than her, and deserving better than her. I had feelings one day of marrying her, and the next of tossing her slutty ass to the curb. Which eventually I did. And I couldn’t be happier as of now. I love her to this day, but I just couldn’t be with someone I knew had fucked half my home town (including a number of my good friends). As I said before, the blame might lie with me for being so unforgiving, but frankly, long-term relationships come down to doing what makes YOU feel good, doing what YOU think is right.
I couldn’t shake the fact that she had been a slut, and hey maybe that’s on me and my psyche. Either way, for the entire two-year relationship, I was one foot in, one foot out. I was really happy to be with the girl who I’d had a crush on for YEARS. However I couldn’t give her the respect and love she deserved because I knew so much about her past, I, in a lot of ways, considered myself to be above her and better than her, and deserving better than her. I had feelings one day of marrying her, and the next of tossing her slutty ass to the curb. Which eventually I did. And I couldn’t be happier as of now.
I love her to this day, but I just couldn’t be with someone I knew had fucked half my home town (including a number of my good friends). As I said before, the blame might lie with me for being so unforgiving, but frankly, long-term relationships come down to doing what makes YOU feel good, doing what YOU think is right.
18.
Listen, I’ve banged “high value” women and “low value” women. My SO has banged “high value” men and “low value” men.
I’ve banged the same person for a long time (in a past long-term relationship), and I’ve banged whatever rando was willing to follow me home from the bar that day. My SO has also done both of these things, at different points in her past.
Why should I care if she banged some guy that I hate? She banged her ex-husband, and I sure don’t like that guy. Likewise, I banged my ex-wife, who is in retrospect no gem.
I don’t care who my SO banged once upon a time; I care who she is banging now (which is to say, me exclusively). She feels the same, thank goodness.
19.
Not always, but more often than not it doesn’t do you any good. If she slept with ugly or annoying people, then I might feel bad to be classed and categorized with them. If she slept with really attractive and awesome guys then I might feel insecure that to some extent she is comparing me to them. I’m not bothered by everyone in a girl’s sexual past as I expect them to have had past partners, but my reaction to it is usually somewhere between neutral and negative.
20.
If past partners were assholes, then I’ll be less attracted to her.
If she’s going out with me and I realize she’s simultaneously going out with other people, I’ll assume she doesn’t want a relationship.
The really big thing I have an issue with, though, is lying about past sexual partners. A couple of my really slutty female friends have told me that they lie about their counts to partners, and that basically killed all attraction I had to them. The one friend who’s completely honest about all that got more attractive to me when I realized she was completely upfront.
21.
Generally neutral to positive. A woman who’s both sex-positive and honesty-positive is extremely attractive.
