11 Women Share The Hilariously Pathetic Excuses Fuckboys Have Used To Try And Slide Back In After Ghosting
A guy once ghosted me after we were dating for three months. He texted me a year and a half later, apologizing and asking for another chance. He told me that he was busy with work. Apparently too busy to actually break up with me for eighteen months.
By 
Lisa Woods
1. Doing Laundry
He disappeared for a few months and when he re-initiated conversation he told me he was busy doing laundry.
—EmpressShred
2. A Fight With His Roomie
He disappeared for about a month and then re-emerged telling me that he had gotten into a physical fight with his roommate and had broken his foot and dislocated his shoulder and that he was had been focused on dealing with the aftermath.
At the time it seemed so absurd that it had to be true (who lies about that sort of thing?), but then he disappeared again shortly after, never to return, so who the fuck knows. Perhaps his roommate finished him off.
3. “Sorry For The Big Delay”
It wasn’t really ghosting as we hadn’t actually met. However, I exchanged a few messages with someone on OKCupid and he didn’t respond to one of mine. I figured he just wasn’t interested and that was that.
Six months later he responded to the message (I had a bad habit of not deleting things) saying, “Hey, sorry for the delay. I was a bit busy.” A bit busy. For six months. I didn’t respond and just deleted the thread.
4. Lost His Phone
Moron disappeared for over a year and then texted me and asked for a second date. Yes, he did this after the first date.
“I lost my phone the night we met.” “And you just got it back a year later?”
Screw you. I don’t even remember you. The first fifteen minutes of our conversation was me trying to nicely tell him he had the wrong number. The last fifteen minutes was telling him no, but thank you, I’m not interested in a threesome with you.
—ApricotPickles
5. Low-Level DJ Who Sells Weed
He blew me off because he had to marry his Russian friend’s girlfriend to get her a green card. A couple months later he asked me out again. He’s a low-level DJ and sells weed on the side so I’m not missing out on much.
6. The Lost Shirt
I had been talking to a guy for several months and we had hung out a couple times. The last time we hung out I had visited him on base and it had been raining and I had an extra shirt in my car so I changed and accidentally left the one I took off at his room. I really loved the shirt I left. I texted him the next day asking when I could come grab it and no reply. A month later he texted me and said I couldn’t get the shirt because he threw it away because he didn’t want anyone that did a room check to know a girl had been there. He also said he stopped talking to me because he met a girl he had wanted to move to California with when he got discharged from the army. I’m pretty sure it was because I didn’t have sex with him, which is whatever but he could have been honest and said that was the reason.
—Katydid90
7. Extreme Benching
Dated a guy for 2 months, he decided we should ‘take a break,’ and didn’t speak to me for 6 months. Suddenly, he’s apologizing and wants to be buds.
My theory? He found someone he liked better, got dumped, and wanted my social life. Don’t take the coward’s way out next time loser.
8. But He Was Actually A Coke Head
He stood me up for our coffee date. Sent him a text to tell him I was there when I arrived and I called him from the coffee place once he was about 30 minutes late.
Complete radio silence for 3 days.
When he finally called me back, he told me his sister had a family emergency, he had to drive 2 cities over to her house so he could take her and her 2 kids to the hospital (why wouldn’t she call an ambulance?) and he left his phone at home (funny how he didn’t call or text back when he was reunited with his phone).
Found out a couple months later that he was a total coke head, and my guess is that he was on a bender at the time we were supposed to meet up.
9. 007
We went on a few dates, then I didn’t hear from him for a few months, then he told me he was on a secret mission for the military.
10. “How’s Your Boyfriend Tho?”
Mine totally started ignoring me and then he messaged me online months later after he found out I had a new boyfriend and it didn’t take him long to send me that because it was only recent I was with my new guy. He said he hoped things go well for me and that I am happy and asked me some questions about him. I was foolish to reply and after a couple PM exchange, he was silent again until Thanksgiving and we only talked for two minutes and he asked me about my boyfriend again and the same questions and I never heard from him again. That was the last time and he never said anything about him being quiet on me. It was like nothing happened between us and he sounded like a cheerful man like nothing bad was happening in his life. I always found this very strange how he came back and then disappeared again.
11. I’m Moving To Kuala Lumpur
A girl I knew. He ghosted out saying he was moving to Kuala Lumpur, after they had dated for three months, but hadn’t had intercourse (his choice).
Then a few months after he got back in touch.
Turns out he actually had a girlfriend, was cheating with her with this girl. Didn’t like her enough to break up with the girlfriend. But then the girlfriend dumped him. He’d never left town, certainly hadn’t moved internationally.
And he told her all this!!
