21. Happily Ever After
I had what was supposed to be a very casual relationship with a guy (I was 31, he was 27). We had a fair amount of interest in one another, but weren’t really wanting a full-fledged relationship because he was my roommate’s ex-bf. They were still “best” friends though, and so he was always around. Reality was he was still hung up on trying “one more time” at their relationship (they had dated on and off for 7 years in a very immature, toxic co-dependent way)… and she was stringing him along using him for favors now while having a secret FWB with one of his friends in their group.
Given that I could see that, and I didn’t want to be involved in that drama, I put him off for a long time. I took his interest in me as someone seeking validation from others given the current state of his rejection from her and possible rebounding. Not to mention, it’s in bad taste to screw your roommate’s ex, lol.
In any case, we had a drunken night of hanging out and bad decisions were made driven by our obvious attraction to each other. We talked the next day and decided we’d just be “casual” and expect nothing… and we didn’t need to advertise the fact we had anything going on. I fully expected it to fizzle out in 3 months and just be a fun time. I’m not the type to typically sleep around outside of committed relationships, but being single for awhile I figured I needed some fun at this time in my life and to stop being up-tight about it.
Well, we slept together one more time after that (intentionally this time, not drunk I mean). Nothing much happened for a while, then I found out I was pregnant a few weeks later.
I’m very much pro-choice, but I could never have an abortion myself. I’m also 30-something with a house and a very good salary, so more than able to care for a kid. I’ve always wanted kids anyway, so I decided to keep it. I told him as much, and that he was free to be involved or not, but I didn’t need his money.
After discussion, we decided to give a go at dating and see if it really worked and we could do this together. I think it helped we have a lot of the same values when it comes to family. Now, there was a LOT of drama at first with the roommate and his other friends who felt the need to get involved. His parents never met me but declared I was “too old” for him. Crazy accusations I was trying to “trap” him with a baby that wasn’t his – which made no sense given anyone who really knows me, or given the fact I’m a successful career woman with a house and he was still in grad school and penniless at the time. If I had any desire to trap anyone (which I did not) why would I “trap” that? lol. It made no sense. I told his parents I’d take a DNA test but they had to pay for it, otherwise they could stop with that slanderous talk that didn’t help anything. They declined, but kept on with the crazy.
It took a few months, and the “drama” settled (really we just cut off my ex-roommate and his parents and focused on us). I’m happy to say over the last 1.5 years we have actually fallen very much in love and overcome a lot of relationship hurdles very quickly. Our son was born last November, he is adorable in every way and we both love him more than I can have ever imagined.
This summer he proposed to me, and now we plan to get married next year. Whatever attraction pulled us together in the first place really grew into more than I ever expected. We couldn’t be happier right now :)