I Want Something Real With You

I want a label type of love.

I want to know where this is heading. I want to know what we are. I want to have difficult conversations at 2 a.m., lying next to each other and baring our deepest secrets. I want to know all about you beyond the superficial level, from the intricate workings of your mind, the complexity of your life experiences, and the lengths that you go to overcome all your challenges. I want you to see me as more than a pretty face, a fleeting present, and a temporary companionship. I want you to meet my friends and family members and get their approval that you’re good for me, like how I already know you are.

I don’t want to be your maybe, your in-between, and your passing fancy. I won’t be a warm body you reach out to at midnight. I won’t be the text messages you reply to when you’re bored. I won’t be the uncertainty that causes you to hover in the gray area. I won’t be the date you’re ashamed to be with in public. I won’t be the girl who forgives all your transgressions and takes you back with open arms.

I want spontaneous road trips, chasing after sunsets, and watching the sunrises. I want to lock eyes with you across the crowded room and share a secret knowing glance. I want to reach for your hand and feel your fingers instantly squeeze mine back tightly. I want to eventually build a home with you and go back to you every night.

I want an honest love that is based on trust and devotion and strives to give each other the very best. I want a mutual partnership where both of us continues to try and fight for us. I want us to be best friends, lovers, and partners who embark on this life journey together.

I’m not interested in the possibility of you loving me back. I’m not okay with letting things go with the flow. I’m not chill or cool with casual dating and having to pretend to be someone I am not.

I’m not interested in ambiguity. Dancing between the gray area that never amounts to anything. Stumbling into a non-existent relationship that holds more possibilities than something real. Reading between the lines for a piece of affection that is more imaginary than concrete.

I want something real with you. Right now, at this current reality, in this exact moment of this universe. Not your promises of a future that may not come. Not the possibilities of us amounting into something concrete. Not the potential of how well we could be together. Not the idea of us working out in an alternate universe.

I want a simple love that is predictable in its consistency and effort. I want my days to be filled with joyous simplicity and to be able to spend it with someone I love. I find myself gravitating towards someone safe and who feels like home. I’m attracted to a love that is built on a foundation of commitment, certainty, and conviction. I want someone who is unwavering towards me and able to stand by me through the lowest times and applaud me during my proudest moments.

I want real and honest love. And if you love me, you will show me just how much you do.