He’s back now.
I know you have dreamt of this day more times than you want to admit. You were a wreck of emotion the first day after he left you so abruptly and without any explanation. You were absorbed in your grief wondering what you did to garner such treatment. A tiny part of you was still convinced that this couldn’t be the end. You were still hopeful that he would come back.
There was just too much history and unresolved tension. All the times you spent together must have meant something to him as well. Because nobody could have pretended that well, right?
You told yourself that it would one day get easier. But the thing about getting over him is that it is an ongoing struggle. It requires constant effort. You never truly get over him.
You missed him loudly in the moments that you were awake, the text messages he used to send you, and the companionship he gave you. You missed him quietly in the moments before you fell asleep, his familiar face grazed in your mind, the song that reminded you of him, and the aching need for him that struck you at your core.
But despite how arduous the process of forgetting him was, you survived.
You did not know how you did it but you made it. You’ve made peace with it and you’ve almost settled into a life where you are content to be living without him.
That was why when he suddenly contacted you out of the blue, you did not know how to react. You weren’t sure how to feel about it. You felt confused and you were angry at how easily he disrupted your life before and how he is doing exactly the same thing again.
But the worst thing was that despite knowing full well how it would play out, a part of you was happy that he reached out to you. Relieved that he did not forget about you. Hopeful that things would be different this time.
But surely you must know that he’s still the same as before. If you were to take him back, the same cycle would repeat itself. All your hard work to move on from him would be for nothing.
When he comes back, do not give him a second chance. Do not be fooled into thinking things will be different. Do not feel pressured to be friends with him.
What you must do, however, is think of how far you have come since then. You picked yourself up and found yourself in the midst of your heartbreak. You chose your own happiness over him before and you can do it again.
You should not lose sight of the big picture in a moment of temporary weakness. He may be a good person but that didn’t change the fact that he was not suitable for you. You tried before, but you and he were toxic together.
When he comes back, you should not go back to him. Because if it was meant to be, he would not have left previously. All the factors that pulled you away from him are still there. All you will do is to reopen old wounds and delay your healing process.
You deserve so much more than what he cannot give you. Only when you make the effort to move on from him, you can finally have the happiness you deserve.