The boy that you were so captivated by, hanging on his every word. The one who took your breath away with his winsome smile. The love who stole every inch of your heart.
You can’t believe it. It’s hard to wrap your head around the fact that he’s gone for good. It’s impossible to think of love without the one he gave you. It’s unimaginable to think of a life without him by your side.
For the longest time, he had been your safe haven from the turbulent thoughts running in your mind. The reprieve from the wildfire burning inside you. The shelter from the storm that upheaved your life.
Now your world that was once brimming with so much light plummeted into complete darkness. Your future that held so much hope and endless possibilities disappeared into thin air. Your heart that was once overflowing with love became desolate and dry as the dessert.
You want, so hopelessly, to get over him but he is all you can think of. You want, more than anything, to be okay, but you don’t know what to do. You just want things to be back to where they were, back to a time when he loved you.
But after spending so much time holding on to the past, resisting the new reality, and fighting futility, you realize nothing is going to change.
Nothing except more pain on your side, more effort of your own that is not going to be appreciated, and more disillusioned with how much he has changed into someone that couldn’t care less about you.
What you need to do is to accept what happened.
The truth that perhaps you and he are not meant to be. The reality that while he used to be the most important person in your life, you have to draw a line now and keep a distance away from him.
You need to remember that he is a chapter in your book, not your ending. You need to remind yourself that he’s part of your life and not your everything.
Do not blame yourself for something that is not your fault. Contrary to what you think, there is nothing you could have done to prevent this.
Just because it ended with him doesn’t make what you and he had less real.
The happy times you spent with him when you were so blissfully in love, the days and nights that blended together in one endless dream, the stolen moments when you rested next to him, staring at his closed eyes and he woke up sleepily and murmured he loved you and you found yourself bursting into a wide foolish grin. The nostalgic memory when he went to great lengths for you to show you how important you were to him and you believed that he was your forever.
They were all real.
Maybe a part of you will always love him. Maybe you can never completely forget about him and maybe that is okay.
As long as you are healing at your own pace and you know that he belongs in your past, you are doing fine. And slowly when you place less importance on getting over him and stop thinking of him so much, you will soon realize that you have moved on.