1. He will never change.
If he could change, he would have done so previously. Waiting for him to change one day is like waiting for rain in the drought. It’s hopeless and out of your control. By being dependent on him to change, you are giving up control of your own happiness. You cannot and should not wait for someone to change.
What you can change, however, is your attitude. Know your worth and never lower your value for someone who cannot appreciate you. Walk away if you have given your all and when you have exhausted all your options. Let go if you are unhappy and the relationship is no longer what it was. Remember that it is always easier to stop loving someone than wait for someone to fall in love with you. Once you accept what you cannot change, you gradually become happier than holding onto what is not yours in the first place.
2. It’s better to end it now than in the future.
Think of how much you hurt now. How the thought of never seeing him again tears you apart. How you miss him so terribly much that you would give anything to see him again. How you are willing to fight for him no matter how huge the obstacles are. Then think of him. His hesitation when you asked him if he loved you. His unwillingness to fight for you. His indifference when you begged him to give you another shot. You know it even if you don’t want to admit to yourself. You are only prolonging your misery and putting off the inevitable end. Sometimes a clean break is not as scary as you think it is. Sure breakups are devastating and messy, but at least you know what to do which is to get over him. You can focus all your energy on healing and recovery. And while it may not be today or tomorrow but one day, you will be okay. However, if you insist on holding on and fighting tooth and nail to keep your relationship afloat, you are only going to be depressed everyday. No relationship is worth the price of your dignity, your well being, and your happiness.
3. Love is not enough to maintain a relationship.
There are so many other factors to consider. Sometimes the saddest part of having to let go is not when love runs dry and hearts turn cold—it is when both people love each other very much and they let go with tears in the eyes and iron-death grips of each other—both refusing to let go but must.
You know that there are bigger things out there than each other. You wanted more than anything to be with him but the cons outweigh the pros. It is unfair and immature to assume that love can conquer anything because sometimes it doesn’t. It is because you love him so his happiness matters to you more than your own needs. You want the best for him, and if this relationship is not working for him, it pained you to see him unhappy.
Sometimes you let go not because you no longer love him but because you do.
4. Just because he’s a good person doesn’t mean he’s right for you.
As human beings, we resist changes and prefer old familiarity. We prefer to stick with the tried and tested than leaping into the great unknown. Similarly, if you have known him for a long time, it is easy to see his strengths and what a great catch he is. It is normal to feel that you can never find another person like him again. And you’re not sure you want to, either. At this moment, you only want to be with him. What you need to understand is that no matter how attractive he is and how good you think he is, it is irrelevant to saving your relationship. What is more important is the commitment to stay together – which he doesn’t share with you.
As long as you continue to hold onto the relationship that is not working, you cannot attract the right one. It is no one’s fault that your relationship could not work out. What matters the most is that you have both tried and for a while, you were happy. Now it’s time to move on and close this chapter. There are other things in store for you. Your life does not stop after him.
5. Love should not be something you have to ‘try’ at.
It is supposed to be natural and easy. Conversations should flow effortlessly. The thought of him uplifts you. You should be encouraged to be the best version of yourself with him. There is no such thing as having to ‘try’ to love you more or you having to put in more effort because you feel that you need to. Love is a choice and you should only choose it because you want to.
There are many mediocre things in life but love is something that we shouldn’t have to settle for. We should choose it mindfully because we want it and it’s definitely not something we have to force.