You are going to be okay.
It may be hard to believe this now. You feel like you have hit rock bottom. With what seems like no prospect, no potential, and no hope looming ahead. All you see is total darkness.
You feel so small and helpless that you just want to give up.
It’s so unfair. You give everything you have, only to have it fall apart. It is unthinkable to continue in fighting for what seems like the inevitable. It is unnatural for the circumstances to be this bad. It is unimaginable for you to radiate happiness again.
Friends say, give it time. Those inspirational articles and quotes say, you will be okay. You want to ask, how long will my heart stay broken?
Because to be honest, it feels like you will never be okay.
You thought you would never get over this turmoil. You thought you would never be happy again. It feels like you can never stop loving him. It feels like you are an empty shell and your soul has fled and your heart has died.
He was in your veins, your bones, and your soul.
Now that he’s gone, the air that keeps you alive feels thick, like poison, and you have a hard time trying to keep your breathing even. The heart that pound to give you life feels heavy as lead. You clutch your chest as pangs of piercing pain gripped you. Your mind that used to be as clear as river is murky and you struggled to stay afloat amidst the deadly memories of him.
He is everywhere.
How you longed to scrub off every inch of yourself, erase every space of your heart, delete every of his messages, cut off all ties, forget every memories of you and him. So that you will never be reminded of him again.
You did not believe in destiny until you met him. It seemed like your love was written in the stars. Carved in stone.
Then you were cruelly torn apart from him. And you learned that even the most beautiful flowers can wilt. The brightest stars can dim. The kindest angels can fall. The most trustworthy love can abandon. And the one you love can break your heart.
One day, you will be okay.
It will feel like you have just woken up from a surreal dream. You will see this heartbreak as a blessing. You will feel free like the world is your oyster. It’s amazing how when you have nothing to lose, you feel like you have gained a whole new perspective. That what you can lose is probably not important anyway. That ultimately what you have is yourself. A wild and daring spirit that will die trying first.
For you truly believe that there have always been better things. Pain may be necessary but suffering is not. Happiness or pain is temporary. Nothing lasts forever.
You will refuse to remain chained to the thorns of the past. This heartbreak does not define you. He does not get to ruin your happiness. He no longer has any power over you. He does not get to hurt you anymore.
You will spread your wings and escape the claws of yesterday that are threatening to close in. You will soar high and free, finally at peace with the past. Not because you are a fearless warrior or a favored child of the high heaven.
But because you know that you are a survivor.
And you are going to be okay.