The 7 Lessons We Learn From Our First Love

The Notebook
The Notebook

Our first love is easily the best love we will experience. It’s optimistic, spontaneous and quite frankly, overwhelming. First love bonds people for life, and while some of us are lucky to marry our first loves, to live in that honeymoon phase forever, most of us are not. We are forced to move on, to find our second, third, or even fourth love; waiting for the forever love. And, while there is nothing like the heartbreak of your first love, there are lessons that we can all learn from what’s undeniably and incredibly powerful experience; and hopefully, use those lessons to better our next loves.

1. The Importance Of Communication

Your first love is the usually the first time you are so intertwined with someone, that you have to openly communicate with them. You learn, through trial and error, just how important it is to communicate your feelings. Even more importantly, you learn HOW to communicate your feelings in a mature, calm, rational way. (A.K.A.- don’t be passive aggressive and subtweet your significant other)

2. The “Honeymoon Phase” Will End: That’s Not A Bad Thing

Yes, the “honeymoon phase” is majestic. It’s during those months, even years, where you both are so in love that you hang off of each other’s words. Your conversations are peppered with so many “I love you’s” and “baby’s” you are surprised people still talk to you…it’s that nauseating. Eventually though, that phase will end. You don’t know when, you don’t know how, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing; it just means you’ve both grown so comfortable around each other that you find other ways to express your love.

3. You’re Most Attractive When You Are An Unfiltered, Unadulterated, Version Of Yourself

It’s true; you want someone to fall in love with you, for you; flaws and all. Because true love means accepting and appreciating each other’s flaws.

4. Sometimes, No Matter How Hard You Try, A Circle And A Square Won’t Fit Together

This is a hard one to swallow, but in so many ways it’s the most important. While we do fall in love, sometimes love isn’t enough. And, eventually, you will both realize that at the end of the day you’re just not compatible.

5. Letting go Of Each Other is Hard But In The End, You Will Be Grateful You Did.

Not all love is going to last forever, but that doesn’t make that love any less significant or special. Our first love teaches us the importance of being strong enough to let go. And, if you weren’t the one strong enough to do so, you will be eternally grateful to the other for being able to do so. Letting go doesn’t mean you didn’t love each other; it means you loved each other so much that you want more for each other.

6. Blind Optimism isn’t Always The Best Approach To Life

First love is blinded by optimism. You believe that there is no other love like this, and you forget to look at your choices with realism. It’s not until after your first love the importance of balancing your optimism with realism in order to get what both you and your significant other want.

7. You Will Love Again, And It Will Be Even More Special

There are those moments after you break up with your first love where you believe you will never love again. How could you? You just left the one person you loved more than yourself, and there’s no possible way you will find that again. Eventually, as your heart heals, as you begin to love yourself more, you find your second love. And, unimaginably so, it is the perfect blend of everything you expect from love. TC mark

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