When it comes to conversations about HIV and all of the information on HIV, I had to empower my partner while also disclosing my HIV status to him at the beginning of our relationship in 2020. He is HIV negative, and in 2020, he had no clue that U=U exists!

It almost felt like a burden on my side because my perspective was: “In 2020, who doesn’t know about HIV?” Everyone should know! But throughout my experience, I knew it was my obligation to disclose to my partner and ensure they understand what HIV, U=U (and everything that entails within that topic) is.

Some of the lessons I have learned while living with HIV since birth, almost 30 years later, is that the information is definitely out there, but not “out there” enough to surpass the myths and misinformation. I would also fault it to the way HIV was introduced to us, as a killer, as a dangerous disease. 

With time, heavy scientific research, and investment, HIV no longer wears the tag of fatality it once wore…unless one would choose to entirely miss their antiretrovirals and then the opportunistic diseases begin to take over. 

Once we all understand the concept of U=U, HIV will be more manageable in terms of treatment, care and prevention, and the stigma will (hopefully) be eliminated, almost like the flu, or how most recently, COVID-19 was handled.

On a personal note, it took me a while to understand HIV and its parameters when it comes to preventing it, or avoiding sickness upon myself. Understanding this helped me teach and empower others through sharing my story, but it was a long journey to self acceptance.

If I could write to my younger self, this excerpt would be my exact words for little Laura navigating life as a young person living with HIV: I would tell her that her voice matters, because along the way, she found herself, and that all the challenges she faced in accepting her status, and getting to a point that she shares with the world — is so significant.

I would tell her that healing comes at its own pace. Even though I was physically healed, my mental and emotional health needs healing and therapy, and self-work is the only way to achieve that. I would remind her that everyday is a chance to get better and do better, and that even though the intrusive thoughts may come, you can fight through them and win.

Note: ‘Undetectable = Untransmittable’ (U=U) is a campaign explaining how the sexual transmission of HIV can be stopped.