The Possibility Of You Has Become Very Distracting For Me

There are a lot of big bad things. The world is full of them.  They are smeared, and gray, and hovering over us. They hide behind suits, or masks, or collections of cells.  They lie in wait in envelopes and coordinates and dark alleys.  You know what I’m talking about—the big bad things.

It is important to remain vigilant. If you see, or hear, or smell, or taste, or touch, or intuit, or fear something—say something. Usually I do, usually I say everything.  I usually find it pretty easy to notice and to talk about the big bad things, and the medium bad things, and the small bad things.

I’m just having the hardest time lately.  I’m having a difficult time remembering that everything is terrible. It is; I won’t pretend it’s not. I mean, I still watch the news. However, I am having a hard time remembering all of the horrible things out there, at least all of the time.

It seems so out of character for me. I had the sudden urge to investigate—people used to being vigilant often do. I retraced my footsteps. It turns out, if I follow my distraction backward, it leads me directly to the night I met you.

This isn’t a love song.  I would never be rude, presumptuous, and egotistical enough to claim you as my antidote. I’ll never freeze you in a painting. Idolatry is best left to religion and Ryan Seacrest.

I am not using you to cover up the flaws in the world, in my life.  You are not wallpaper. You are not an idea. You are not a projection.

Wallpaper can’t allure you with a smile or seduce you with a sentence. You can’t hold an idea and an idea can’t hold you back.  You can’t kiss a projection and wonder what it might be like to kiss her again.  I’ve been wondering what it might be like to kiss you again.

I’m not closing my eyes to the big bad things. I’m just opening them to the good.   I don’t know what will happen next, then again, we never do.  I’m just going to make the most of whatever is happening right now and focus on the present.  I’ll leave the distracting to you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

image – Clioeos

About the author

Laura Jayne Martin

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