When we were younger, we thought that relationships were full of those perfectly planned romantic antics. We totally forgot that relationships in the real world isn’t a Katherine Heigl chick-flick, and that Heath Ledger will never serenade us with “You’re Just Too Good To Be True.” Relationships in the real world require a lot of patience and understanding, and not a script full of quotable quotes that will make you finish a box of Kleenex.
1. Good morning/night messages are the best. It may be basic and simple, but good morning/night messages are proven to lift someone’s mood. When you are in a relationship, you will suddenly realize that your day wouldn’t be complete without your partner’s romantic and elaborate or simple yet sweet good morning/night messages.
2. You have to let yourselves miss each other. Space isn’t always that bad. Spending most of your time with each other may be the cause for you two to split up. It’s also nice to give each other time to breathe because we also need time to spend with ourselves. Distance will not only challenge the both of you, but it will also make you realize that missing each other isn’t so bad after all.
3. Compromising doesn’t mean you’re weak. “It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise that moves us along.” You have to meet in the middle. It’s not about what you always want to happen, or vice versa. You will get to learn how to understand and become more open to what each of you wants. It’s what you two want, and how you two will work it out.
4. You can never fix them. You are in a relationship with them because you have accepted them for who they are—for their dreams, their frustrations, and their annoying mannerisms. When you are in a relationship, you will learn that you can never fix them and that you have to let them be who they are. If you try so hard to mold them into the person you want to be, then maybe they shouldn’t be the person you’re dating.
5. Being comfortable isn’t scary. You will learn how to become more open with them because that is what relationships are all about. You are yourself when you’re with them, and they will not judge you for that. If you need to poop, go tell them. Being comfortable isn’t scary, it’s assures them that you are committed to them.
6. Misunderstandings are inevitable. There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. It’s crap that people aim for perfection. You will argue no matter what. It’s not healthy if you don’t fight because arguments make you realize how much you want your relationship to work. You cannot always agree on everything. That’s bullshit. Fights will only be unhealthy if it’s already irrational and if it happens on a daily basis.
7. You should never expect. It’s not always about you. You have to realize that disappointments are often caused by too much expectation. Being in a relationship will teach you how to become more realistic, understanding, and patient. Your relationship isn’t a movie. He’s not Patrick Dempsey or Josh Duhamel. And you’re not just a girl standing in front of a boy waiting for him to love you. Your relationship is real; there are no ‘cuts’ and ‘credits’, you don’t have ‘scripts’, and what you do doesn’t last for two hours—it lasts for how long you want it to.
8. You should stop being paranoid and trust them. Stop overthinking, he’s not hiding anything from you. You have to start believing in him because he also gets hurt whenever you think otherwise. Trust is the hardest thing to give, earn, and do whenever you’re in a relationship. But little by little you will get to learn how to give it. Trusting someone is equivalent to loving them.
9. You will learn how to show them how you feel. It’s easy to promise and tell them that you will always be there for them. When you’re in a relationship, words will just be words. It’s going to be how you show them and make them feel that they are loved. It’s how you hug them tight after a long and tiring day at work, it’s the way you kiss them on the forehead when they feel worried, it’s the way you sincerely laugh at their silly old joke, it’s the way you rub their back when it aches so bad. It’s the little things that count. It’s not how elaborately you tell them how you will love them. It’s how you show them; it’s how you make them feel.
10. And finally, it’s all about balance. It may be hard to do all of these and know the perfect amount love to give each other. Humans love things they cannot define. It’s not like there’s a formula for a perfect relationship, or certain ingredients on how you can make a relationship work. It’s all about balance.