ENFP: Until you learn to appreciate what you have in front of you.
Stay single until you learn to appreciate the relationship, person, or opportunity in front of you. There will always be a part of you that entertains the idea of what else is out there, but when you find yourself continually feeling dissatisfied with a romantic relationship because you already have it, as opposed to all the things you feel like you’re missing, you know that isn’t fair to your partners or to yourself. When you’re able to know there are other options out there, but still look at the person in front of you and realize how wonderful and incredible they are, then you’ll know you are invested in making the relationship the best it can be.
INFP: Until you learn that love doesn’t always look the way you think it should.
Stay single until you are comfortable with the fact that love doesn’t always show up in a person who perfectly checks off all the boxes on your metaphorical list. It’s more than okay to have standards- you shouldn’t put up with someone unkind or hurtful to you. However, you tend to spend so much time imagining what love will look like in your life, that you miss whenever it actually shows up- or worse, you recognize when it arrives, but feel immensely disappointed when they aren’t what you thought they’d be. You know it’s not right for you or anyone you date if you’re constantly setting huge expectations on their shoulders and failing to really see all the beautiful things they possess already- and if you can open your heart up to the possibility, love may just surprise you by giving you what you really needed, rather than what you swore you always wanted.
ENTP: Until you aren’t ready to take off when things appear boring.
Stay single until you can appreciate the moments in a relationship that aren’t running non-stop, but instead take the time to relax. You value growth and abhor stagnancy, and those things are perfectly okay. However, you sometimes tend to miss that nothing constantly grows, without resting, 24/7. Everyone becomes tired, needs a moment to rest, and needs to have a moment that might seem “boring” to you, but it is actually a normal thing every now and then. You start to get antsy if a relationship looks like it’s running out of steam, and rather than assess why that might be, you find yourself preparing to run off to the next exciting option- and that isn’t fair to your partner, who doesn’t understand why you’re leaving, or to yourself for giving up on someone who actually could be showing you something important- that nothing in life is always exciting every single moment. Once you’re able to appreciate the quiet, dull moments, you will understand better how to really let the relationship thrive.
INTP: Until you genuinely are ready to let someone get to know you.
Stay single until you aren’t ready to shut someone out the moment they get too close to you. You have a tendency to overthink things, and pair that up with your firm belief that no one will ever really understand you causes you to shut relationships down instantly- even if things have been going great. Sometimes the problem is the unwillingness of the other person to learn, but sometimes it’s your unwillingness to let them in, and you can’t always place the blame on someone else when you know deep down you might be just as much at fault. When you refuse to accept that you’re the one pushing someone away due to your own worry as opposed to their lack of ability to know you, then you’re setting yourself and your potential partners up for failure, because you’re not being honest with them or yourself. If you can take the time to really assess the person and slowly give them a chance to know you, then you might be surprised at how fulfilling the relationship could be.
ESFJ: Until you learn to take care of yourself and ask for your own needs just as much as you do for everyone else.
Stay single until you finally come to terms that a relationship cannot be one-sided, no matter how well you believe you handle it. You’re naturally inclined to take care of those around you, and you rarely (if ever) ask for anything in return. Yet deep down, you know that sometimes you really wish someone would step up and take care of you in the same ways and you start to feel some resentment towards them- which isn’t healthy for you or your partner. If you never are honest with what you need, how can your relationship truly be balanced? If you can find the voice to kindly, but clearly, let your partner know that you need someone to take care of you, too, then you can finally be in the fulfilling type of relationship you’ve been searching for, rather than always chasing around those who you think need to be “saved.”
ISFJ: Until you realize you’re important, too.
Stay single until you learn that who you are and what you bring to the table has just as much value as your partner does. You’re a sensitive person, and you tend to beat yourself up over not doing enough, being enough, or speaking up enough about what you want or need. You let yourself fall to the back in your relationships because you honestly would rather spend your time trying to do everything to make your partner happy than care about what makes you happy, too- and that isn’t fair to your relationship when you think about it. People choose to be with you because they value you, and they cherish who you are, and if you’re spending all your time cutting yourself down and devaluing who you are, your relationship will never honestly be able to be a healthy place for either one of you.
ESTJ: Until you can understand that you aren’t always right.
Stay single until you realize that every single issue that arises doesn’t end with you being right. You have a tendency to see the most straight forward or efficient way to do things, but you fail to realize that not all problems in life require a straight-forward or efficient answer, even if that’s how you would prefer it to be solved. Sometimes, your partner needs you to step outside of your comfort zone and listen to how they’re feeling. Or they need you to take a moment and see things from their perspective, even if it doesn’t make sense to you. Yet when you insist on asserting dominance and discrediting your partner’s voice because you believe you’re right, you’re not creating any type of healthy relationship, and it’s not fair to your partner to always be shut down because you think you know best. If you’re willing to accept that you aren’t always right, you might be surprised by what you may learn approaching something from a different angle.
ISTJ: Until you can be okay with change, at least a little.
Stay single until you can fully accept that love and relationships are just as prone to change as they are to consistency. You have strong values, and you prefer for things to stay as much the same as possible because it’s easier and more comfortable to do so. However, people have a tendency to grow and change over time- and while it’s possible that sometimes relationships just don’t pan out, sometimes it’s less about that and more about the inability to open up your mind and heart that change doesn’t have to be a bad thing. If you cut off relationships just because things begin to shift, that doesn’t put your partner in a good place- they need to know they can be safe with you to explore and grow in themselves and become the best version they can be. Once you’re willing to accept that change can sometimes be for the better, you’ll give yourself a chance to experience a relationship full of growth and potential.
ENFJ: Until you understand that you can’t “fix” everyone.
Stay single until you understand that even with your best intentions, you can’t make people become better versions of themselves. You often spend your time being an encouraging and loving presence in your relationships, and those qualities are incredible. Yet sometimes those moments tend to overstep their bounds when you blatantly see where your partner could improve or become a better version of who they are, and you nudge really hard trying to get them there. This isn’t bad if they ask you to encourage them, but if they don’t, it tends to breed resentment between both of you: You, wondering why they don’t care enough to do more, and them, feeling like you don’t believe they are good enough as they are. Though you care very deeply about your partner’s feelings and would never intentionally try to make them feel less, these tensions eventually lead one or both of you to feel ragged and exhausted, and that you should just part ways- rather than recognizing that people grow and change on their own time, not in the methods or timelines you think they should. If you can learn to accept that, you honestly might be surprised at how easily they decide to do these things on their own.
INFJ: Until you are willing to let people into your mind without assuming they’ll misunderstand you.
Stay single until you are more than willing to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner, rather than keeping them so heavily guarded. You have a rich inner world with so many ideas and opinions on the world around you, but you tend to hold onto them with a death grip rather than letting anyone come close- even those you choose to enter into a relationship with. While it’s okay to keep some things to yourself, these aspects of yourself are extremely important, and if you refuse to share those parts with someone, it reveals a bigger truth- that you honestly don’t trust them. Though you might have a difficult time opening up, it isn’t fair to keep your partner at arm’s length when they might feel they’ve formed a genuine and sincere connection with you, only for you to withhold yourself from forming that same bond. If you’re able to let yourself trust your partner, then you might be surprised to see just how supportive and loving they are in handling that part of you- the kind of relationship you truly deserve.
ESTP: Until you aren’t viewing commitment as a death sentence.
Stay single until you can genuinely look at commitment as an adventure you want to engage with, rather than something to hold you back from all life has to offer. Let’s face it, you really enjoy being able to do what you want, when you want, and the way people talk about dating and commitments can make it sound like there are too many strings attached- so you approach relationships very detached and casual, ready to cut loose if the relationship even slightly threatens your freedom. That isn’t fair to the people you date, especially if you aren’t up front and honest about it- and you honestly are missing out at what the person right in front of you might have to show you. People are full of possibilities, adventures, and ideas of their own, and they may be able to open doors to things you’ve never experienced before. If you can learn to view relationships as their own adventure rather than something holding you back, you’ll be able to really enjoy and thrive in one the way you’ve always been capable of doing.
ISTP: Until you aren’t giving mixed signals, even when you’re in a relationship.
Stay single until you feel more confident in making more emotional and confident decisions about your relationships, instead always remaining on the fence. It can be easy to feel like a relationship feels too permanent, especially if you value your autonomy and freedom the way you so fiercely do. However, it’s not fair to keep any potential partner in limbo just because you can’t make up your mind on what you truly want. Though it can be easier to resign to the idea of staying single forever, the reality is you need to learn how to make more decisive choices- not just for the sake of your relationships, but for yourself, too. If you’re willing to stop going back and forth and truly commit to a course of action, you may find it’s the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself.
ESFP: Until you aren’t always chasing after a “feeling.”
Stay single until you realize that feelings are a part of a relationship, but not the deciding factor or the most important one. You love to experience life and connect with people in a big way- and that often includes forming strong emotional connections. Your relationships usually start out as passionate and exciting, yet as all relationships do, there is always a period where things calm down- which sends alarm bells ringing through your head. You seem to think that if the high wears off a relationship, then it means it’s over- but the truth is that all relationships go through up and down periods where sometimes, the feelings are huge and overwhelming, and sometimes they’re not so much. That doesn’t mean the relationship is over- it just means it’s normal, and you learn to push through the low points and enjoy the high ones. If you’re willing to stick things out when the initial high wears off, then you might be amazed at how fulfilling and enjoyable your relationship will turn out to be.
ISFP: Until you realize that love isn’t only about the emotional aspect.
Stay single until you can learn to appreciate the practical and logical sides to love rather than strongly fixating on the emotional sides. You have a strong set of emotions that you cherish, and that shouldn’t be invalidated by any means. However, you tend to prioritize it above everything else- and that can cause some severe tension between you and your partner if you choose to ignore the other aspects required to make a relationship work. Logic and practicality are needed to help solve issues and work out day to day things that come up, and even if they aren’t where you might like to center your focus, you can’t just leave them out- and you also can’t view a significant other as heartless if they don’t have the same penchant for emotional awareness as you do. If you’re willing to embrace all aspects of a relationship, not just what you’re comfortable with, you’ll realize how much more it can thrive- and how you’ll both be better off for it.
ENTJ: Until you stop treating relationships as projects.
Stay single until you learn that romantic relationship with people shouldn’t be treated as projects you can work on until they achieve your desired satisfaction. You are very goal-oriented, and this is a big asset for you in life, because you know how to gets things done. Yet you tend to apply that same “work-mindset” to potential relationships, and it honestly does more harm than good. People don’t want to feel as though they are answering to a boss or manager on their “progress” or worried they’ll be let go the moment they don’t complete a task. Relationships tend to be messy and unpredictable at times, but they’re also capable of showing you things about yourself that you never knew.
INTJ: Until you are the kind of person that doesn’t jump ship when things don’t make “sense.”
Stay single until you stop fixating so hard on logic to help you find the ideal relationship that you pass up any person who doesn’t “make sense” to you. You are, and you enjoy figuring out and learning new things- but you have a great deal of trouble understanding people, social cues, or their emotions. These things don’t necessarily fit into an equation or formula that you can predict the outcome- and this alone makes you wary and nervous. This wouldn’t be so bad except that when you do enter into relationships, you panic and tend to shut down whenever things don’t go the way you expect, and this can leave your partner feeling isolated and hurt- which isn’t fair to them. If you can learn to accept that while love is unpredictable and messy, it’s also full of joy and growth, then you can truly experience a relationship the way you’re supposed to.