Why Couples Who Practice ‘The Pause’ Have The Strongest Relationships

couple embracing
Andrew Welch

We are human.

Sometimes we are so overwhelmed by our prides that even smiling or apologizing to the person we love seems to be the hardest thing to do.

Sometimes we want things our way that we forget what the other person want.

We even forget why we were there at the first place.

How come we stayed at this situation for a long time? Over and over again you asked yourself how you did it and why you are still doing it until you get to the point that you just want it over with.

You say the most toxic things and turn your relationship to be the ugliest thing in the world. Not even worth a stop button or a reset to make things right again. Not even worth a second thought.

You want them gone when you fought so hard to be with them.

Like I said, we are human.

We say things before we completely think it through and analyze if that’s what we actually want to say. We do things we don’t mean just because we don’t know when enough is enough.

Do you want to keep the people you love? The people you care about?

Practice the “Pause.”

Where you stop and think, “Is our relationship worth wasting for this kind of argument?”

When you actually have the time to deliberate how much you value this person to hurt them.

Where you realize that winning still means losing if you lose the person you love just because you have won the fight.

When you realize that storms, hurricanes and even earthquakes pass.

You will then remember the feeling of your favorite roller coaster ride when you are at the top and the wind is just blowing on your face and you think everything is okay but then the car just starts to fall down and your stomach will have this swirly feeling and you want to throw up. But then your ride slows down after a wild rush, you are okay. You are alive and suddenly everyone becomes too quiet and you are overflowed with sea of tranquility. You will remember that that is how it feels like to be with them.

That is the “Pause.”

When you can finally remember the person you turned out to be when you are with them. You became the best version of yourself and there is nothing more that you want in this world than give them back the favor of loving you regardless of your flaws, your past and your recklessness.

Stop, look and listen.

Remember how you stared at their face the morning you woke up before them and you can’t thank God enough for giving you someone you never thought you deserved.

For giving you more than you have asked for.

You don’t have to know how much you love them when you finally lost them, you can know it now.

Pause before you lose them. Pause now. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

You are me and I am you.

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