You Only Love Three Times In A Lifetime

man and woman holding hands while walking near trees
Jelleke Vanooteghem / Unsplash

Someone cheats, someone leaves, and someone’s sobbing on that bathroom floor ready to sell their soul to have that thing for one more time…the thing called love.

Not all the love stories have happy endings. Some don’t have the endings.

And then there are those that bring hope and faith that somewhere out there, someone is patiently waiting for you.

Waiting for you to collect pain and disappointments so that you know what happiness truly means. Most importantly, so you understand – why it never worked out with anyone else.

Furthermore, you can’t jump ahead until the end of the book and miss out on all the lessons love’s here to give. You have to live each chapter to the fullest, even if that means going off the track without guarantees and promises of happily ever after.

Because I now know – in love – you never go off the track.

You only move forward getting closer to the kind of love that is once in a lifetime. The kind that shakes the ground making you unlearn everything you’ve once learned.

It forces you to love stronger and go further.

It teaches you to become the person that isn’t afraid of loud sounds, risky decisions, or big love.

Because what matters the most is that at the end of your days, you’ll thank love for having blessed you with a passionate existence even if it wasn’t always right or healthy.

There are three greatest loves in our lifetime.

The very first one arrives unannounced inviting you on an unexpected Disney ride. You’re ready to jump in without buckling up, without knowing where this ride may lead.

Then you had off together- you and love and excitement – side by side, heading into stimulating waters of unknown outcome.

It feels heavenly while it lasts to do the forbidden things: to make goals, to give promises and vows you’ll never keep. And yet, you want to hold on to it forever.

Some first loves live for months, some for years, some few decades.

They mark how far you’ve come and how far you still have to go. You then realize that you can’t go back in time, but maybe you can go forward.

Then comes the second, the hardest of all. It’s here to serve the purpose you do not know. It soaks you all in. It consumes your mind, life, and heart.  You know in your head that this is bad news, and you should probably walk away forever, but the unknown powers always lure you back.

It’s here to make you feel the highs and the lows of life. It gives you a glimpse of who you can be and who you no longer want to be.

It’s here to squeeze all you’ve got until one day you’ve got nothing. Until you no longer can go on, and everything that you so religiously hanged on to, you now are ready to let go, walking out with nothing but a suitcase. Leaving all behind without knowing what’s next.

You’ll feel sorry for yourself and the time that so unapologetically went by. You hope on time’s healing powers to forgive and forget the love you’ve consciously signed up for despite the warnings of your soul, your friends, and family.

Months later, the dots will connect. And although you’ll still be walking through molded waters, you’ll finally start seeing clear waters on the horizons.

In life, we don’t always get what we deserve. But we almost always get what we need.

And so comes the third, the greatest of all.

It will feel scary and exciting altogether, yet natural and unforced. Everything just organically falling into its place.

Although there’ll be icebergs and obstacles on its way suggesting you listen to your vulnerable Ego, pride or conscious mind, you won’t let it go so smoothly. Over the time, you may go separate ways for a while, but in the end, there’ll be an unexplainable force pulling you back into each other’s arms over and over again.

Long lasting love is here to show who you are. It’s here to reveal what matters. It’ll ask you out of your comfort zone. It’ll push you against the walls of your true potential, you’ve never touched. Lastly, it’ll give you a chance to grow up.

And although there were certain questions and unresolved issues, I shudder at what I almost lost if I had walked away because of that.

Had I been more prideful and fearful, somewhere in the world today (probably in a tiny cramped room of a London apartment) there would still be a single woman wandering the streets of a city in hopes to find love.

So I urge you to forget your small thoughts. Forget the logic. Trust the feeling which is guiding you someplace magical through the signals of love. And maybe this time around, you won’t get a Disney roller coaster, but you most certainly will wake up to a Disney sunset. And that, my friends, is Big Love. TC mark

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