27 Things You Must Say Goodbye To At 27

Happy Endings: Seasons 1 & 2
Happy Endings: Seasons 1 & 2

The day after my 27th birthday, I came to realize my life had changed immensely. Now officially in my “late 20s” and realizing everyone around me is a wife, a mom, or pretty damn close to it, I’ve had to say goodbye to a few things. Listen closely, and try not to be too depressed about it.

1. Everything bagels bathed in full fat cream cheese. It will immediately make your face fat. As a wise woman once said, eating a bagel is exactly like eating 7 pieces of bread…and I’m pretty sure that’s true.

2. Sure you can have a birthday but it’s only a day now. Not a week. Or a month. Ain’t nobody got time for your birth week.

3. Taking vacations “just because.” Kiss adventurous traveling goodbye at 27. The next few years are chock full of weddings and every dime you make will go towards plane tickets, wedding gifts, and clothes for said weddings. But they’re really fun. I promise.

4. Ignoring babies. Inevitably, the babies that come from these marriages also start screwing up your plans and your bank account. But you’re a bad friend if you ignore their births, baptisms, birthday parties, etc. Plus, they’re kinda cute, right?

5. Dancing at the bar until the lights come on and expecting to not be in bed until 3 PM the next day recovering.

6. Shopping at Forever21. 21 isn’t forever…you’re 6 years past that. Go to Ann Taylor and get over it.

7. H&M is done too, actually. Sorry.

8. Oh and Urban Outfitters.

9. Hair accessories. They’re for newborn babies.

10. Rainbow sandals. You’ve been wearing them since you were 15. It’s time to let them go.

11. Law school. I know you’re still thinking about it. It’s too late.

12. White dresses. Again, your life revolves around other people’s weddings so these are the only events you will attend. And somewhere in the last 5 years, a rule came about that the bride wears white to not only her wedding, but every shower, Bachelorette party, and engagement party; and if a guest dares to wear white too…they will be shunned.

13. Midnight movie showings. It’s not cute to be “totally with the tweens” anymore. Plus, you actually have to be on time for work tomorrow.

14. Speaking of work, you must be VERY serious about your career. No more “but I’m fresh out of college! I’m exploring my options!” You’re 5+ years out. Stop gchatting and figure it out.

15. Not having a hobby. I don’t care what it is – running, guitar, cooking, hiking – just get one so at adult parties when old adult people ask you what you do for fun, you don’t go “Uhhh…” (while your inner voice says: “All I do is day drink.”).

16. Old ratty bathing suits. Take that off. You look poor.

17. Boy bands. Everyone can see your Spotify “recently played” and you look like a pedophile.

18. Being a flake. No more backing out of plans. Be dependable. You’re almost 30 for crying out loud!

19. Fighting with your Mother. Haven’t you learned by now? She really is always right.

20. Watching MTV.

21. Holding grudges against your exes. It’s bad for your skin.

22. Not showering every day. You’re a grown woman and you can no longer get away with this. If you’re one of those mysterious girls who can go 7 days without washing her hair and look flawless, go for it. But wash that bod. Every day.

23. Themed Parties. Time to retire that toga!

24. Not watching the news. You need to know at least the bare minimum of what’s going on in the world whether it’s the latest political scandal, the healthcare bill, or where we are on finding that damn plane. Oh, and start thinking about where you might stand on these issues.

25. Approaching a guy to flirt and/or wingman for your best friend before taking a glance at his left hand. Trust me on this one.

26. Facebook albums. Your once daily Instagrams are more than enough.

27. Not working out. I know it sucks, but just do it. Every single day. TC mark

For more great advice, read our bestselling ebook The Truth About Everything.

TC Site


More From Thought Catalog

  • http://www.chicagonow.com/perfecting-my-twenties/2014/06/27-things-to-keep-welcoming-in-your-life-at-27-and-beyond/ 27 Things to Do

    […] As the title says, these are 27 things to keep welcoming in your life at 27.  This is a rebuttal to an article shared earlier today by a friend. You can read, and have the same feelings of rage here. […]

  • http://thefeminineedge.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/27-things-to-say-goodbye-to-at-27/ 27 things to say goodbye to at 27 | The Feminine Edge

    […] my birthday less than two weeks away, this article popped up on my Facebook newsfeed. Could the timing be any more appropriate? As depressing as it […]

  • http://understatedclassics.wordpress.com Clare

    Reblogged this on Understated Classics and commented:
    Approaching 27, I am strangely intrigued by what this article is preaching. I definitely did not think when I was 21 (or in my teens for that matter) that I can pull off Forever 21 for forever, and not have to admit I should move into Ann Taylor or White House Black Market….
    And they raise a good point about my “everything bagel covered in cream cheese.” I can totally feel my face getting fat, and instantly feel like I gained ten pounds. I guess growing up is not as fun as I thought it would be. See you soon, rainbow flip flops. And about my Spotify profile? I will gladly and proudly admit I have Celine Dion, NSYNC and Dave Matthews on there…and I’m not at all ashamed.

  • http://hotshotmama.com/2014/06/19/19-things-i-gave-up-when-i-became-a-mom/ 19 things I gave up when I became a mom | Hot Shot Mama

    […] an article floating around my Facebook newsfeed entitled “27 Things You Must Say Goodbye to When You Turn 27.” I read it mostly for the LULZ, because, at 27, I was pretty certain most of the things on it […]

  • http://mytiarascrooked.wordpress.com/2014/06/19/dont-kiss-it-goodbye/ Don’t Kiss It Goodbye | My Tiara's Crooked

    […] of my girlfriends posted a blog on Facebook titled “27 Things You Must Say Goodbye To At 27.” I’m 31 and she is in her later […]

  • http://funnyloveblog.com/2014/06/20/five-for-friday-3/ Five for Friday | FunnyLove

    […] 27 Things you must say goodbye to after 27.  Story of my life.  I’m 28.   […]

  • http://doseofkimisms.wordpress.com/2014/06/20/27-reasons-why-27-things-you-have-to-say-goodbye-to-is-one-womans-sad-homage-to-her-boring-life/ 27 Reasons Why 27 Things You Have to Say Goodbye to is One Woman’s Sad Homage to Her Boring Life | A dose of Kimisms
  • http://www.pearlsandpolitics.com/stuff-im-loving-right-now/ Stuff I'm Loving Right Now |

    […] note: I recently read this article about things you must give up after 27, which included shopping at Forever21. Too bad. I’m […]

  • http://maryanninprogress.com/54-things-you-have-to-say-goodbye-to-when-youre-54/ 54 Things You Have to Say Goodbye to When You’re 54… | MaryAnn In Progress

    […] compadres are all 27, it just seemed so true of the single gals from his graduating class. Click here to see what I mean. But, after picking myself off the floor from laughing so hard, I realized that […]

  • http://www.wanderingchic.com/menswear-moment-ugly-sandals-beach-footwear-and-olsen-twins/ Menswear Moment: Ugly Sandals, Beach Footwear and Olsen Twins |

    […] an old friend from Beach Patrol shared the thought catalog post “27 Things You Must Say Goodbye To At 27” and commented how he may have a bit of trouble with #10– ditching the Rainbow Sandals. […]

  • http://stephenhardy10.wordpress.com stevopunkdude182

    I’m 32 and I still do a lot of the things that are listed here . I do what I want and I’ll stop doing certain things when I’m ready I don’t need someone on the internet telling me what I should / shouldn’t still be doing , this is only according to what society believes and thinks a person should be well Fuck society I am my own person and I refuse to conform.

  • http://stephenhardy10.wordpress.com stevopunkdude182

    Society thinks that I should go bed at 10:00 and not 3:45 in the morning . Society thinks I shouldn’t watch Cartoons any more Society thinks I should be listening to boring middle of the road music that is played on shit radio stations like Heart and magic fm. According to most of those dick wads I should be watching Daytime TV & sad shitty soaps such as EastEnders and I should be working a boring depressing Job full time . I don’t think so

  • http://twowoodenspoons.com/perceptions-aging-vs-truths/ Perceptions of Aging vs. The Truths | two wooden spoons

    […] few weeks ago the article 27 Things You Must Say Goodbye To At 27 came out and every one lost their mind over it. I mean seriously, take a look at the comments […]

  • http://stopmeifyouveheardthisone.com/2014/08/07/grown/ All grown up. | Stop Me if You've Heard This OneStop Me if You've Heard This One

    […] worry, I’m not going to throw a list of 27 things you have to do by 27 (I could never top this one anyway). I’m also not going to bore you with my list of goals. (BECAUSE I DO THAT ALL THE TIME […]

  • http://onelifespoken.wordpress.com ideltarose

    Reblogged this on onelifespoken.

  • http://fromawildflower.com/2014/08/13/27-things-say-goodbye-27/ From A Wildflower, | 27 Things You Should Say Goodbye To At 27

    […] was an article buzzing around entitled “27 Things You Should Say Goodbye to at 27“. While I agree with some of the article’s points, there are a few that left me […]

  • http://fitting-it-all-in.com/just-say-no-to-white-dresses/ Just Say No To White Dresses

    […] This one is “27 Things You Must Say Goodbye To At 27″ […]

  • http://amithirty.com/2014/09/09/fifteen-things-i-hope-im-never-too-old-for/ Fifteen Things I Hope I’m Never Too Old For | Am I Thirty Yet

    […] I need to give up now that I’m in my late twenties and “soooo old!” According to this lady, last year when I turned 27, I should have given up all forms of fun […]

  • http://happythoughtsofahappygirl.wordpress.com/2014/09/14/27-things-you-must-say-goodbye-before-turning-28/ 27 Things You Must Say Goodbye before turning 28 | Random Thoughts

    […] ran to an article at Thought Catalog months ago entitled “27 Things You Must Say Goodbye at 27”, and I find it interesting and was inspired to write my own 27 goodbyes since I’m left with […]

  • http://anniegetyourrun.wordpress.com/2014/09/16/27-things-about-being-in-your-late-20s/ anniegetyourrun | 27 things about being in your late 20s.

    […] don’t know how I missed this, but a few months ago ThoughtCatalog.com published a post called “27 Things You Must Say Goodbye To At 27.”  Apparently the writer is a very old […]

  • http://butterlustblog.com/2014/10/02/fruity-pebbles-funfetti-cake/ Fruity Pebbles Funfetti Cake - Butterlust

    […] personal favorite is this one, where the author tells me that because I am of a certain still-in-my-twenties age, I can no longer […]

  • http://hotmessoclock.com/?p=144 Because I Don’t See No Dirt On That Grave | Hot Mess O'Clock

    […] read the most heinous piece of trash that’s ever been published anywhere in all of time right here. But then hurry on […]

  • https://versionindustries.com/prototypes/thoughtmemo/december-2014-site-overview-special-edition/ 2014 Editorial Recap | The Thought & Expression Company

    […] By The Time She Turns 25, 13 Foods People Thing Are Healthy, Which Are Actually Terrible For You, 27 Things You Must Say Goodbye To At 27, What It’s Like To Be In Love When You Have Depression: all big hits with our […]

  • http://danielandtasco.wordpress.com sticklebean

    Reblogged this on danielandtasco and commented:
    Love this!!

  • https://sailorparc.wordpress.com/2015/01/16/27-things-you-can-still-do-when-youre-27/ 27 Things You Can Still Do When You’re 27 | sailorparc

    […] my best friend Kmo posted this article “27 things you MUST say goodbye to at 27″ and it sparked a rage inside me that I haven’t felt since my convenience store switched their […]

blog comments powered by Disqus