Today I Decided To Stop Waiting For You
These days, the thought of you hasn’t been clouding my mind anymore. The pain that once held me back from getting out of bed is now long gone.
Never have I thought that there would come a day that I’d be sure of finally walking away from you.
I’d been telling myself that I’d be willing to wait, reassuring myself that one day you’ll come back to me and we’d be able to continue where we’d left off; when everything was too beautiful to even believe. These days, however, the thought of you hasn’t been clouding my mind anymore. The pain that once held me back from getting out of bed is now long gone.
When you told me that you hoped we could still be friends, I knew deep inside that it would hurt too much to continue being a part of your life when, clearly, there could be something more. Now I’m certain that no matter how great our love could have been, I still deserve someone who is willing enough to try and stay no matter the circumstance—something you weren’t able to do for the both of us.
So, despite the fact that I had fallen in love with you more than I could ever with anyone else so far, what I’m trying to say is that maybe it’s for the best to move on with my life, and from you, instead of hoping. In the end, hope is only a way for me to hold on to fantasy, to the dream of having an “us”.
Besides, you were already a dream come true. You’d shown me that there are still people who see life in my perspective, who listen, who love like there’s no tomorrow. You’d opened my eyes to a new world that’s positive and full of contentment. Because of you, I’ve finally begun to appreciate the value of time. You were my miracle when I was already giving up.
Anyways, you were right all along when you said I should be thankful. Hopefully enough, you believe me when I say thank you for making my heart feel whole again.
I’m giving you up now, though. I know you’re happy wherever you are, you’ve always been such a joyful person. I hope that, soon enough, I live a life that is surrounded by happiness too. But if there will ever come a time that we meet coincidentally, or if you come knocking on my door again, maybe I might let you back in.
It’s just that today, I’ve finally decided to stop waiting. 