He’s Not Making An Effort Because He’s Just Not That Into You

Twenty20 / @thewayiseeitblog

We like making excuses for the people we care about. Our egos don’t want to face reality. They don’t want to see rejection. Instead, they’ll create a convenient backstory, a reason we’re being blown off or ignored.

It’s not that he isn’t into you, he’s just busy. It’s not that he doesn’t care, he’s just in a transitional time in life.


Maybe. Maybe all those reasons you’re clinging to are true. Maybe he’s trying to balance a thousand different things and of course you’re going to slip through the cracks.

But when someone cares, when someone is invested, they still make an effort. They find that one minute to see you. They call you when they say they will. They let you know how important you are.

If he’s not talking to you, it’s not that he’s swimming in work. It’s not that he’s got so many projects, he can’t take two seconds to step away and see how you’re doing.

It’s because he’s not into you enough to try.

It’s because he likes you, but not the way you like him.

It’s because his attention lies elsewhere.

It’s because he’s not committed.

If he wanted you, you’d know it. He’d find small ways to show his attachment. He’d tell you. He’d show up, even if his life is hectic. We make room for the stuff that matters. We go the extra mile when it’s someone we’re crazy about.

Maybe he really is super busy. Maybe he can’t handle adding anything else.

But that’s because he’s just not that into you. Otherwise, he’d figure it out. He’d have a spot for you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

popcorn aficionado & full time hopeless romantic.

More From Thought Catalog