1. It takes you a while to believe in someone.
This honestly has very little to do with the actual person and much more to do with you and your past. You’ve given yourself away to people who ended up huge disappointments. Sometimes even catastrophic ones. You’re careful when meeting someone new and aren’t going to toss all your faith into them without a proven track record. You need to see things with your own eyes. It’s difficult for you to take a risk and believe.
2. You’re uncomfortable sharing things about yourself.
You keep your heart tightly locked. Any information that could be considered personal is something you carefully guard. You’d rather ask new friends, acquaintances, or romantic partners about themselves. You’ll redirect the focus on them. Anything that keeps it off you and anything that could make you appear vulnerable.
3. You avoid commitment.
It’s not that you don’t want commitment. But with commitment comes a lot of feelings that you’re not prepared for. If you commit to someone, it means they might let you down. And that’s terrifying to you.
4. You look for reasons your relationship is going to fail.
Because if you can see it coming, it won’t hurt as bad. …Right?
5. Putting yourself out there makes you itchy.
Starting over in the dating world is immensely terrifying to you. You see friends swiping and finding potential matches on Tinder, and then ACTUALLY going out with them. Or chatting up attractive folks at the bar. But all of that freaks you out. You’d rather stay where its safe.
6. You have a hard time forgiving people.
You want to be better at it. Sometimes you get envious of those who seem to easily live and let go. They move on. They don’t harbor grudges or resentments. They say, “it’s okay!” and actually mean it. For you, it’s not so easy. If someone hurts you, you assume they will just keep doing it. Even if it’s not true. You’d rather not give them any other chances to do it again.
7. You keep loved ones at a distance.
It’s not always done on purpose. You might be doing it subconsciously. But there’s a definite wall you have in place between yourself and others.
8. You’re constantly jumping to worst case scenarios.
This is one of your major sources of anxieties. Even when things are going well, you think of what could go wrong and how badly everything could turn out. It’s exhausting, for everyone involved, but you can’t help it. You might not even vocalize it most of the time. But you’re thinking about it.
9. You accuse people of things without much evidence.
Not like, in a court of law. Or maybe! You might be a lawyer, how do I know?! But you have a tendency to look for wrongdoings where no evidence of it actually happening exists. For example, the person you’re seeing MUST be cheating on you. Why? You’re not sure. But you just have a feeling.
10. You are fiercely protective of your friends.
When they introduce someone new, you’re immediately uneasy. You want to make sure whoever they fall for treats them well and is trustworthy. You’re not easily impressed and it takes a lot to win you over. It’s because you care and you never want to see a loved one get hurt the way you’ve been. This protective nature is a projection, but it comes from a good place.
11. You don’t date.
If you can, you avoid it altogether. Because sometimes it’s just easier than explaining why you’ve got trust issues in the first place.