1. Stop canceling plans.
Nothing is going to happen if you keep getting in your own way. Yes, first dates can be scary and draining. It’s easier to just text someone, “Sorry, something came up!” and slip back into pajamas and Netflix your heart out. But you will not meet anyone that way. You have to be willing to put yourself out there. No work, no reward.
2. Don’t lower your standards, but do open your mind.
There’s a difference between lowering standards and giving someone a chance. No one is suggesting you date someone you aren’t attracted to or settle “just because.” But you never know what could happen when you try new things. Talk to someone you normally wouldn’t. Let your friend set you up on a date. Love finds us in the strangest places.
3. Unfollow your exes on social media.
Unless you’ve somehow remained friends (I’ve heard this is a thing that happens. Yet to see it in real life.), this is in everyone’s best interest. You don’t need to see what they’re doing on Instagram. It’s too tempting to cyberstalk, and that can halt your moving on process.
4. Stop comparing yourself to other people.
Nothing will ever live up to what you imagine other people have. Life is not Sleepless In Seattle. You are not Meg Ryan or Tom Hanks. Stop trying to stack your love life against others. Especially ones that are fictional…
5. Visualize what you want.
I’m a big believer in vision boards. It helps focus and center us. HOWEVER, this does not mean you can just sit around. Vision boards aren’t magic. It’s about that combination of good energy AND active pursuing.
6. Address your own problems.
No one is perfect. And the idea that you need to 100% love yourself or be absolutely sure of yourself to find love is a bit extreme. Sure, it’s ideal. But those things take time and, for some of us, an entire lifetime. However, if there’s something major going on in your life, consider tackling that before thinking about dating. First and foremost, you need to take care of yourself.
7. Let go of toxic people.
Our environment can inform a lot of our decisions. If you’re around a lot of toxic people, chances are, you’re making some toxic choices.
8. Practice your skills.
Date your friends. That sounds weird. I don’t mean ACTUALLY date your friends. But spend time socializing. How are your conversational skills? Test them out on your buddies. All good things take practice.
9. Meet a lot of people.
This might not be romantic, but a lot of the time it’s a numbers game. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.