23 Important Reminders For The Girl Who’s Used To Being On Her Own

1. It’s okay to not be happy being single once in a while. Society does this weird thing where it pressures you to be in a relationship. But if you’re single, expects you to never have any complaints lest you be labelled, “bitter.”

2. Keep away from people who make you feel bad for being single. Whether it’s your family, friends, co-workers, etc. There’s nothing worse than constantly being made to feel inadequate for your relationship status.

3. It’s okay to go on tons of dates in the hope of finding someone to be in a relationship with. The truth is the more people you’re interacting with, the more likely you are to find out what you like and don’t like.

4. But it’s also okay to not want to go on a ton of dates. It’s okay to be selective and “picky” about who you spend time with. Your time is valuable and unless you feel like you meet someone you’re really interested in getting to know, maybe it really is best spent with friends or in your own company.

5. Remember that people in relationships don’t have to be happier than you, simply because they may get to split checks and have NYE kisses.

6. Realize that being in a relationship won’t automatically make you happy (if you’re not already). Realize that there are a lot of miserable relationships that are worse than any loneliness you might feel when you’re single.

7. Don’t wish anyone would break-up just for your selfish reasons. Break-ups are not fun and even if they are necessary for others around you, they still hurt, if only a little.

8. Cherish the time you have by yourself. Chances are, you won’t have this time for long; probably not the greater part of your life. Do the things you know would be a lot harder to do once you do meet someone you care about: travel, stay out till 5 a.m. three nights in a row, let you apartment get messy, etc.

9. But don’t feel like you have to spend time on your own simply because it’s easy and you’re used to it. You can get too comfortable being on your own even if that’s not what you ultimately want.

10. Don’t make dating any harder than it needs to be. If you think you might like someone, tell them. If you think someone might like you and you don’t feel the same way, tell them that too.

11. The people who reject you or don’t feel the same way as you do, aren’t bad people. They are people just like you, who wanted a human connection, and just didn’t find it with you.

12. Always treat the people who you’re rejecting with respect. Remember those bad emotions you felt when you liked someone who didn’t like you back. Be straightforward but gentle.

13. You’re probably going to cry to yourself once in a while because you’ll feel unloved and unwanted. Let yourself cry and tell yourself tomorrow will be better.

14. Never mistake a kiss in the early hours of the morning for a declaration of something more. But it’s okay to cherish that kiss and want it to happen again.

15. If you want to try online dating, go ahead and go nuts with it. But know that it’s not a sure-fire way to get what you want. Just another way to meet people. Some people you will enjoy meeting, some people you won’t.

16. But don’t let anyone pressure you to try online dating. If you have no desire to meet people that way, it’s okay. You never have to do what other people are doing.

17. A lot of people are going to give you a lot of unwarranted advice about what you should and should not do about your “situation.” Sometimes they’ll be wrong and sometimes they’ll be right. Be patient with them, they probably have your best interests at heart. But in the end, follow your heart, head, and soul.

18. Never go too long without doing something nice for yourself. Whether it’s take a vacation or buy a really nice piece of jewelry. You are a person who deserves nice things too.

19. Go karaokeing, dance, go on hikes, and go to the movies slightly buzzed. Spend time with people you already love, doing fun things.

20. Try not to feel sorry for yourself. Try not to judge someone else’s life from a distance. Try to be content and always remember that you can choose a different path if this one isn’t working for you anymore.

21. It’s okay to try hard when you really like someone, and it’s okay to get out of the comfort zone you’re in. It’s okay if the feelings are not reciprocated and you land back in your status quo. What matters most is you tried.

22. Don’t be afraid to take risks once in a while in matters of the heart. As you probably do with a lot of things. Those risks might surprise you and teach you important lessons.

23. You are always worthy of love, and that the stars have not aligned in this very moment in time, does not make this fact any less true. Love will come to you at probably the most perfectly imperfect time. You’re probably just that kind of girl. And no matter what the future holds, you will almost always find you already have everything you need. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Featured image – Becoming Jane

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Kovie Biakolo

Former Senior Writer & Cultural Advocate at Thought Catalog • Buy Conversations for Smart People • Connect on Twitter, Facebook, & Instagram

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