1. When you were really into this person, you were REALLY into them. Probably longer than you would admit to anyone ever. And no matter how hard you try, the feelings don’t go away.
2. You still get the tiniest bit nervous when you find yourself in the same room. It’s not the same intense butterflies that you used to get, but that fluttering feeling is still there. If only a little.
3. Thinking about them still makes you smile. The kind of smile that is a certain nostalgia for something that you wish had happened but didn’t. The kind of nostalgia you can have for a lifetime.
4. Whenever their name is brought up, your ears perk up and you’re still interested in what people are saying about them. You want to make sure their good name is still good.
5. Your friends still tease you about them. And whenever they do, you become a cute combination of embarrassed and shy.
6. And you’re a little embarrassed for people to find out just how hard you still crush on them. So you consciously try to limit how much you talk about them.
7. You still lurk on little bits and pieces of information they showcase about themselves in the social media world. You want to know what they’ve been up to.
8. If you are seeing someone or in a committed relationship or several relationships have come and gone, you recognize that you’re still very attracted to them. Being in a relationship didn’t change this.
9. No matter how irrational it may seem, you are always looking for their face in the crowd. It doesn’t matter if they’re states away or even countries apart, you still look for them.
10. You have things that remind you of them – whether it’s songs or words or particular places. And when you encounter these things, you never fail to chuckle a little bit at what might have been.
11. You have a twinge of jealousy when you see them with someone else. Even if you’re happy for them, you can’t help it.
12. You always remember important details of their life such as their birthday, things about their family, etc. And you almost always reach out to them on those days.
13. But you also remember random odds and ends about them from all the information you’ve collected over the years – their favorite snack foods, sports teams, etc. But also their major and minor pet peeves.
14. You still get excited whenever they reach out to you just to say hi or see how you’re doing. And a little part of you wonders if they’ve been wondering about you.
15. You always find yourself comparing everyone you meet and date to them, at least initially. And you also compare the people who they’re with to you. It’s almost a reflex at this point.
16. From time to time, you still think that you could be together at some point. No matter the impossibilities of that situation. Not because you think you’ll love them forever, but because you feel like you could fall in love with them whenever.