21 Women On The Simple Act Of Chivalry That Men Don’t Do Enough

We all have certain things that we wish men would bring back into the modern vocabulary of chivalry. But making them “a thing” again is not as hard as it seems! I spoke to some women in my life about what they wanted to see more of, and most are pretty easy to execute. You just have to put in a little effort. And in partnership with Stetson Caliber’s New Rules of Chivalry, here are some ideas to get you started.


1. Picking up the phone and calling you to ask you out, to see how you’re doing, and to actually talk to you. Texting is great but it should not be the primary method of communication. Gentlemen, please start calling again. – Anna, 27

2. It used to be normal for women of my mom’s generation to expect a guy to walk on the outside of the sidewalk. I am surprised by how many guys don’t even know this. Anyway, now you know. It shows you’re protective of your lady and that’s one of the most attractive qualities to women. – Eva, 26

3. My boyfriend always pulls my chair out for me wherever we go. Although I usually sit in the opposing chair (simply because I am not used to this behavior), it’s refreshing to know good old-fashion chivalry still exists. – Mo, 26

4. A guy who picks you up at your front door instead of texting you, “I’m here” gets all the gentleman points in my book. – Fran, 24

5. Giving little gifts just because. I know flowers and chocolates and fruit baskets and stuffed animals can be expensive so I’m not referring solely to these. I’m referring to a guy who sends you cute cards or picks out something small that reminds you of him and sends it your workplace, or in the mail even though you live just a few blocks away from each other. This sort of behavior is so rare these days. – Jasmine, 30

6. Guys should always have cash on them. Now this act of chivalry isn’t directed at me but it makes me smile when guys have cash for cabbies, for waiters and waitresses, etc. I think it’s thoughtful for the service-related personnel we may run into on a date and above all other things, I judge a guy by how he treats those around us. – Louise, 29

7. Not many women will admit this but I think we still enjoy it when a guy pays for the first date. Yes, I will for sure pick up the tab the next time and will continue to do so if we keep seeing each other. And also don’t do this awkwardly, do it like it’s the most natural thing in the world. It makes my heart happy. – Francesca, 25

8. I am terrible at being on time. I know it’s something I have to change but I am always overscheduled. My ex-boyfriend would wait patiently for me without a single complaint and then when we would get in the car, he would play Waiting On A Woman because he wanted me to know that it’s okay for me to take my time. So I guess guys being patient with our “getting ready” rituals is something I’d like to see more of. – Getty, 25

9. Surprise dates. Not everything needs to be a perfectly calculated plan. If you know I’m home alone on a Thursday evening, let’s do something free like go to a museum or an art gallery or even for a long walk somewhere if the weather is nice. Spontaneity is chivalry and then some. – Cat, 22

10. Offering a jacket. I’ve been on a few dates during the late summer or fall when it’s starting to get cold, and I am clearly shivering and the guy doesn’t take note of it. I’m not going to ask for your jacket because I don’t want you to be cold either. But maybe you can offer to share it? It’s not practical but a lot of the time, girls won’t wear their jackets because it might not go with our outfit. So please share your jacket if it’s cold even if we don’t “look” cold. – Kristen, 26

11. Paying attention to me and only me when we’re out together. I don’t understand everyone’s need to check email, social media, etc. when we’re out. Pay attention to me because I am right in front of you and I am all that should matter to you in the moment. – Matta, 27

12. Writing letters. I have a long distance boyfriend and we see each other as much as possible and talk every day. But I’ve written him a few letters, and I know he appreciates them. But he always calls or emails. Guys write your lady a letter from time to time, especially if you’re in a long-distance relationship! – Lulu, 27

13. Complimenting the little changes we make to our appearance. My boyfriend only notices days after I get my hair done. I know guys don’t care about stuff like that but I feel like they should care about the little things that make a girl happy. – Tatiana, 23

14. Making definite plans. I am so tired of guys and their vague plans because “they are busy.” Everyone is busy. My grandfather worked for seventeen hours when he met my grandmother but he met her for an hour after work rather than going straight to bed. That is dedication, that is courtship, that is romance. Be the kind of man you would want your daughter or sister to date. Would you want the women in your life to date a guy who doesn’t make definite plans? Probably not. – Sadé, 28

15. Opening the door for a girl. I’m from the South and as far as I’m concerned a guy ought to do this for every lady from young girls to older women. It shows you’re a well-mannered, thoughtful guy we can take home to mom and dad! – Beth, 24

16. Standing up for me in public. Whether it’s a catcaller or someone who says something rude, the guy you’re with should always make it known to the perpetrator (and you) that he’s not going to stay silent and let someone insult you. Far too many guys are cowardly about that but women need to feel safe. – Sara, 24

17. Bringing a gift when you’re meeting mom and dad. This is just standard but I’ve heard far too many girlfriends mention how their boyfriends didn’t bring a gift to meet the parents. You win over everyone when you do this. – June, 26

18. Keeping the personal romantic parts of our lives private. There is no need to try and up your “manhood” with your friends by telling them personal details about your relationship. It is chivalrous to respect your girl’s privacy. – Faith, 28

19. Dropping us off before you park. I’m usually in heels and I don’t want to seem like a big baby by telling the guy I’m dating to drop me off first. But I always just think that any guy who does this is super considerate and it means a lot. – Jessica, 25

20. Showing us off to your friends. You don’t need to go over the top with PDA but it’s the worst feeling in the world when a guy acts like you’re invisible or like he’s not proud to be with you in front of his friends. Hand-holding, a quick peck on the cheek or just a quick glance to show how much he cares that you’re there. For me, that is everything when it comes to chivalry. – Maddie, 25

21. Any act and I mean any act at all that is thoughtful, especially if it’s something I would ordinarily do for you – whether it’s ironing your shirts or packing your lunch or making the bed. If guys did it every now and then, it would mean the world to any woman. – Liz, 31 Thought Catalog Logo Mark


This post brought to you by Stetson Caliber.

About the author

Kovie Biakolo

Former Senior Writer & Cultural Advocate at Thought Catalog • Buy Conversations for Smart People • Connect on Twitter, Facebook, & Instagram