14 Confessions From The One Who Used To Care Less

1. Being the one who cares less never made anyone happier. While it seems like you never let anything get to you, it was mostly a performance that became a part of your personality, a part of your character. It’s not a happy thing to strip yourself of feeling because you’re trying to come off collected and unemotional. In fact, it’s quite sad.

2. Most of the time, you become the one who cares less because you’re trying to protect yourself from pain in certain ways. The reality is that pain comes in different forms, and it never runs out as long as you’re alive. And being the one who cares less won’t protect you from pain. It actually makes you suffer unnecessarily even more, even though you don’t realize it. Besides, as that saying goes, you can’t protect yourself from pain, without protecting yourself from happiness.

3. Caring less is exhausting, and maybe caring more is too. But there’s a certain tiredness that comes with the unwillingness to not let all your emotions just breathe. Always feeling like if you slip up, then all of a sudden, you won’t be you anymore. But you created those exhausting rules for yourself, and you can always change. In fact, you should want to.

4. The walls that you have when you care less are not easy for anyone to break down. And sooner or later you’ll find that not only do people get tired of climbing them or trying to break through, you make them put up walls of their own. This won’t get you much of anywhere if you really want to build a real connection with people.

5. You will miss out a great deal on people who could have loved you, and who you could have loved too. Not every love is supposed to last a lifetime but there are some pretty great people who you failed to get to know. You were too busy trying to be the one who cares less.

6. Caring less means winning many battles. But ultimately, losing the war. Yes, you will be the person who everyone seems attracted to, and wants to be around, because you come across as detached and cool. But in the long-run, nobody wants to stick around for someone who is cool and detached. And if you don’t change, you’ll become so cool, you’re cold.

7. When you stop holding on so tightly to who you think you have to be in order to maintain a particular demeanor, you become much more free. In fact, when you take off that burden of being a person who doesn’t want to care as much as another, I would say you become more who you’re meant to be. And you’re no longer bound by tired rules.

8. Contrary to the perceptions of caring less, it doesn’t make you stronger. On the contrary, it makes you weaker. Being vulnerable, once you’re able to experience it wholeheartedly, is beautiful. And it’s what true strength of heart is made of. Trying to evade vulnerability won’t make you strong, it’ll make you closed off. That is not strength.

9. When your eyes are finally open or rather your heart is open, you feel different in a good way. You feel like you’re more the kind of person that you’ve always wanted to be, and the false sense of strength that you thought you had, is replaced with something more real and honest. You no longer feel as restricted in love and life as you once did.

10. The one who cares less is the person who goes through life always expecting people to hurt them. And it’s true that if you feel for people, being imperfect, they will eventually hurt you. But treating people like you expect them to always hurt you, and therefore being defensive when there’s nothing to defend, is not a good way to live.

11. When you used to be the one who care less, you will miss it sometimes. Especially when you realize that people sometimes do suck as much as you always thought they did. But you will also hopefully come to the conclusion that even if that is true, it’s not a reason to go back to being the person you once were.

12. The one who cares less never feels that people will really accept the softer side of who they can be, so they get used to closing that side off to everyone. But when you reveal that side, you will realize that people appreciate people who can be raw with them. Because that rawness is untainted beauty.

13. If you stop being the one who cares less, it doesn’t mean that you start being an overly attached human being to the next person you might care for. You want someone who feels the way that you feel about them. Any imbalance leaves a strain on any relationship or potential relationship.

14. In the end, when you’re the one who cares less, you’ll never be able to give love or receive love as greatly as you possibly might have. In the end, it’s not worth it to be the one who cares less. And it never really was. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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Kovie Biakolo

Former Senior Writer & Cultural Advocate at Thought Catalog • Buy Conversations for Smart People • Connect on Twitter, Facebook, & Instagram

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