23 Struggles Of Wanting An Old-Fashioned Relationship


1. Feeling like a bad modern woman (or feminist if you identify that way), because you just want a guy to make the first move.

2. Actually believing in getting asked out or asking people out in-person, or by a phone call. And then getting called “forward” or “creepy.”

3. Being called a hypocrite because you really do want some of the old-timer gender roles IN YOUR PERSONAL LIFE even though you’re not saying everyone has to live that way!

4. Not participating in hookup culture and being called all sorts of lovely (see: awful) names because people think that you think you’re “better than them.”

5. The awkward conversation of having to be up-front pretty early on about your views on sex whether it’s wanting to wait until a particular passage of time, or right up until marriage.

6. Constantly being told that you need to “get with the times” even though you don’t feel like touching these times with a ten foot pole.

7. Wanting to talk on the phone for hours instead of text on the phone for hours.

8. Feeling like you’d like to start having children in the biological time frame that is best for your body. But being either single as a bird or not remotely ready to do so with your significant other.

9. The conflict between wanting an engagement ring because of so-called tradition but also kind of thinking the tradition is bullshit. Especially given all the socio-political implications of the diamond trade.

10. Not actually understanding why people consume their time with things like hating marriage. Um, no one is forcing you? (Yes, I know some people are forced into marriage but we all know this statement isn’t directed at those kinds of situation.)

11. Not wanting to weird someone out but really wanting to do cutesy stuff like write each other letters even if you’re in the same city.

12. Knowing that a guy does not have to open a door for you but making a mental note about it as a lack of chivalry if he in fact does not open the door, especially when you’re on a date.

13. Actually wanting to cook for a man and feeling a sense of pride in doing so. (I’m not even sorry about this one to be honest. But the hate I’ve been given because of it is actually ridiculous.)

14. Not wanting to stalk them digitally but ultimately being too weak to not at least try, and then trying further not to judge by what you may have come across. (And while I have to be on the internet all day every day because of my job, can we please have a moment of silence for the dudes who don’t give a crap about social media? They are ALWAYS the hottest.)

15. Not understanding this whole exhausting desire to pretend that we’re all too cool to be needy and want love. Like why? Trust me I’m one part-woos and one part hard-ass but even in my strongest moment, sign me up for holding hands and kissing in a park.

16. Dressing up for a man (if you’re a woman). I know we’re not “supposed to” do anything for a man, these days. But just like with cooking, how am I affecting your life again?

17. Actually wanting to *GASP* date, and I mean in the sense where two people leave their humble abodes and do stuff together that sometimes involves paying for meals, awkward conversations, and sober kisses.

18. Meeting someone on a night out and actually hoping something concrete comes out of it (other than the awkward moment when you inform the person why you are indeed going home alone).

19. Not being afraid of the “girlfriend” or “boyfriend” labels. We’ll identify with almost anything on earth but the person we’re romantically involved with? Makes sense.

20. Not putting up with “getting what you can” from a person who simply won’t committ to you in the way you want.

21. Constantly getting told you have unrealistic expectations when you’re not asking for the moon or the stars, but just a little thoughtfulness and timeless romance.

22. Believing that your family’s opinion matters; it might not be the deal-breaker but you’re willing to listen to the people who knew and loved you first.

23. Finding someone who wants an old-fashioned relationship too. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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