1. You leave a party to go home and be alone and read, even though you’re having fun.
2. You avoid situations where small talk seems inevitable or you put them off as long as possible, like getting your haircut or waiting until someone’s done at the sugar/cream caddy in a cafe.
3. If you’re out with 2 people and one of them is your friend and the 3rd person is someone you don’t know very well you’ll find an excuse to leave the table if your friend leaves for a moment too. You know it’s weird but you hate that awkward few minutes with someone you don’t know because it’s not enough one on one time to really have a good conversation with them.
4. You go several days without talking to anyone…on purpose. Like you come home from work on Friday and you don’t plan on leaving again until Monday and honestly, that’s one of your favorite things ever.
5. You think one of the best activities you can do with another person is to be alone together…not talking. e.g. hanging out on your laptop with them, reading together, etc.
6. When online ordering became the norm a few years ago you were seriously so relieved you no longer had to talk to another person to order your favorite take out. And now you won’t order food from a place unless they have online ordering, which you know probably seems a little insane, but whatever.
7. When you don’t want to hang out with people you’ll give the excuse you’re sick, even though you’re totally fine. You don’t want your friends to feel bad like their the problem, but really you just don’t feel like leaving the house.
8. You never answer your phone, even if you’re right there and you know it’s ringing. You’d rather let it go to voicemail and hear what the person wants to talk about before calling them back.
9. You have an exit strategy for a party before you arrive. You plan to stay an hour, two hours tops, but you’re sure as hell not staying the entire time.
10. And even if you’re having fun at the party and enjoying yourself, you’re still sort of thinking about how much you can’t wait to get home.
11. You make plans with people you know you’ll likely never keep. At the time they ask you, you think there miiiight be a chance you’ll want to go to whatever event or social gathering you’ve been asked to attend but really, you know you likely won’t be there.
12. You have a bad habit of putting off things far too long all because it required a phone call or confrontation of some sort.
13. When you go to a social gathering you try and stay close to the exit if you can. That way, in case you need to leave, you can just take off and not make a big deal about it.
14. “Oh, sorry, I just saw this!” is basically your favorite text to send when someone’s texted you about going out. You say you didn’t have your phone with you or you fell asleep, all while silently hoping whatever they wanted you to do with them is already over.
15. You accidentally go entire conversations without saying anything. If you’re in a group setting and you guys are all walking together, or maybe you’re sitting together and they’re talking about something you really don’t have anything to add to, you’ll realize at the end of the convo you forgot to say anything at all.