14 Times When You Know He’s Not The Guy For You


1. When you feel like you can’t be your true self around him.

When you’re in a goofy mood and act sillier than usual he acts like you’re weird. When you open up and reveal something significant from your past you feel judged. Instead of feeling like your walls can come down around him and you can be yourself instead you feel like you have to put your guard up and give him a filtered version of yourself.

2. When he forgets important moments.

You tell him you want to celebrate with him next weekend after scoring a new promotion and by the time next weekend comes he’s made other plans. Birthdays, much needed days off, whatever it is that’s important to you he always, somehow, says he “completely forgot about.” It’s obvious you’re not a priority to him.

3. When he deflects every moment where you try to emotionally connect.

When you attempt at making an emotional connection, even as something as simple as saying “I like you” or “I enjoy spending time with you,” he completely fails to acknowledge or reciprocate the moment and instead deflects by making a joke or changing the subject.

4. When he avoids any conversation about defining what you two are.

He’s not a labels guy. He wants the benefits of being in a relationship with someone without being responsible for your feelings or anything that happens.

5. When he never asks you how your day is or how you’ve been.

You guys get together and he doesn’t ask you about how your day was or what’s been going on with your week. He’s more focused on venting about his life without ever considering what’s happening with you.

6. When he calls his ex-girlfriends crazy.

He says all of his exes were crazy but when you ask what made them seem crazy he doesn’t really have much of an answer or the behavior he identified as crazy was actually totally normal. He doesn’t take any responsibility for what happened in those relationships and instead just blames it on the girl.

7. When he avoids having you over to his place.

You’ve been dating for months and he still hasn’t allowed you to come over. He claims his place is too messy, he’s waiting to move, your place is nicer or some other reason. You’re like, no really? Why can’t I come over? He always has some excuse.

8. When it doesn’t seem like he wants you to meet his friends…ever.

He keeps time with you and time with them completely separate and he never wants you two to mix. You get the impression he doesn’t really want anyone in his life to know you two are together.

9. When you constantly have to guess what’s going on between you.

You never feel like you really have him.

10. When he still gets emotional about his ex.

He can’t talk about his last relationship without getting choked up about it. He’s still harboring feelings for his ex regardless of if he’s said he’s moved on.

11. When you don’t have effective communication.

He goes days without responding to a text message, yet every time he’s with you he can’t seem to put down his phone for very long. He keeps himself at a distance, making sure you’re not getting too emotionally invested.

12. When he only gets a hold of you when it’s convenient for him.

After midnight or during the day when he’s bored at work and needs to be entertained are the only times he seems to be eager to get a hold of you. You try making plans with him for a date or just a casual hang out session and it seems like he always has some reason to say no.

13. When he has no ambition or goals for the future.

He complains about his job or a current situation but doesn’t take any action to get out of it or to further himself in life.

14. When he doesn’t invite you to join him at major events.

Weddings, work events, his birthday party, any situation where he could bring a +1 he never asks you if you want to go with him. You understand sometimes people like go to certain events by themselves but with him it seems like he never wants you there for any meaningful moments.

TL;DR: He’s just not that into you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


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