Last year I dated someone very briefly that would always manage to be 15-20 minutes late every single time we hung out. Every date without fail I would receive a text message 10 minutes after the scheduled date that would say something like, “Sorry!! Be there soon!!! ;)” Then he’d roll in 10 minutes or so later. His excuse was always the same – he was busy. He was working out. He had to get in another 10 minutes at the gym. Being late was just “his thing.” He was also one of those guys who claimed he was “bad at texting” and “really really busy” so he could never really make solid plans. These types of people are all the same and I have zero patience for that bullshit.
The only reason I’m even bringing this guy up is because it seems like this is a common situation I keep hearing about with friends and others I know. Situations where they really really like someone but that person is a flake. That person can’t show up on time. That person “sucks at texting” and goes days without responding to a message, and God forbid you even try to get them on the phone.
Can I honestly ask something of ~everyone~ who deals with this? Why does anyone put up with it? Is the person seriously that charming // interesting // attractive? Probably not. I mean, in the moment when their face is in front of your face, I’m sure it’s all very sexy. And don’t get me wrong – I’ve stayed in those limbo dating situations far longer than I should have in the past. So I know it sucks. A lot. I just can’t seem to remember why those people are worth sticking it out for. Who’s like, “man, I really can’t get enough of that one guy that makes everything revolve around his schedule and only gets a hold of me when it’s convenient for him!! It’s really great!!!”
I’m sorry but no one is *that* busy. No one. Yes, people can work 12 hour days and they can have obligations and schedules and the dozens of other things we’re all plagued by in this adult world but it all comes down to how much of a priority you are on someone’s list. I completely believe that if someone is truly interested in another person they will make time, regardless of what else is going on in their life. I know because I’ve done it. I know because I’ve dated other people who have done it. It’s incredible how you can be a “busy person” and yet, still, magically be able to use your phone in a timely manner to make plans and be a decent human being. It really is that simple.
Take action in your life and instead of complaining about how terrible this person is who’s obviously emotionally unavailable and just cut them out of the equation. Don’t make excuses for them. Don’t hold out hope that maybe, someday they’ll come around. They won’t. Delete them from your phone, Facebook, or whatever. Come to peace with the decision and move on. You deserve someone who’s going to eagerly ask you out, who’s excited about your next date, who thinks about and considers what’s going on in your life. And when you find that person who does do all of that and more you’re going to wonder why you even stayed around the others.