7 Major Signs You’ve Become An Insignificant Other

“One day I woke up and we no longer spoke the same language. I haven’t heard from you since.”
– Hishaam Siddiqi


Every couple goes through ups and downs in their relationship. From the exciting honeymoon period where you’re both eagerly getting to know each other to overcoming challenges together as a couple and growing stronger afterwards, it’s natural to experience highs and lows. While every couple has their struggles there comes a time when you just know your relationship isn’t working out. You’re fighting more often. You can’t seem to bond over the same things you used to. Something is wrong and it seems like no matter what you guys just can’t get back on track. Knowing the signs you’re in a dead-end relationship can help you re-evaluate what’s going on and make a decision on if it’s time to end things.

1. They begin limiting communication and distancing themselves.

Little by little they take themselves out of your life. They stop texting or calling as often. They stop doing little things like sending you funny videos throughout the day just to make you laugh or seeing if you have time to meet up for coffee on your lunch break. They slowly peel themselves away from being involved in your life by working overtime, hanging with their friends more, or telling you they’re all of a sudden just extremely busy.

2. They no longer go to you first for your opinion or thoughts on big decisions.

Before it felt like anything could happen to you two and as long as you were together you could rule the world. You never thought any obstacle was too big for your relationship to handle but now it seems like you’re no longer a team. They casually tell you over dinner something major happened – a job promotion, a family issue, travel plans – and instead of asking what you think or how it will potentially affect your relationship they simply just tell you it’s happening.

3. They forget your favorites and just buy you something only they would like.

Your significant other used to enjoy picking out things for you for your birthday or holidays and they always knew how to make it special but lately it seems like they can barely remember your tastes. Instead of putting forth the extra effort they give you gifts that immediately think they really just wanted to buy it for themselves. Sure, you’re happy they remembered to get you anything at all, but it’s obvious they don’t have an interest in getting you what you’d really like.

4. You have a gut instinct it isn’t working out.

Even if you’re hopeful things will work out most people are able to feel that gut instinct when the relationship takes a turn it won’t be able to come back from. Intuition is the subtle way our body communicates with us and once it crosses your mind that something is wrong here and you can visualize a break up happening, it’s likely you’re already on your way to ending things.

5. You’ve stopped talking about the future.

When you two started dating you loved dreaming big about all the things you wanted to accomplish as a couple. You wanted to move cities, start new jobs, work your way up in your positions, take road trips, make a bucket list together. All of these dreams died for one reason or another and you can’t remember the last time you guys talked about doing anything more than a week or two in advance. Once you’ve stopped including each other in the big picture there’s usually a greater reason for it.

6. They take arguments further than they used to go.

You used to have fights about things, for sure, but it was always something that could be resolved with a cooling off period. You two always tried to keep your disagreements in a  respectful place and never took your arguments to a truly hurtful place. Now it seems like your significant other has no problem fighting dirty and knows how to cut you right where it hurts the most. Your fights have started getting more difficult to come back from.

7. All the things you used to like about each other have suddenly become huge liabilities.

You used to think their unconventional views on life or quirky traits made them interesting or endearing but now you just find it annoying. Not only have you been unable to find them as charming as you once did but it’s clear they’re starting to feel the same about you. Before they’d tell you how cute your flaws were but now it seems like all they do is point them out. When you’ve begun wondering what you saw in them in the first place it’s time to take a step back and consider why you’re still with them. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Koty Neelis

Former senior staff writer and producer at Thought Catalog.

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