10 Frustrating Things Emotionally Unavailable People Do That Drive Everyone Else Insane

(500) Days Of Summer
(500) Days Of Summer

1. Push and pull with emotions. Sometimes they’re there, most of the time they’re not. They stay present just enough to keep you interested and in a constant state of confusion about what’s actually going on between you two. Sometimes it can be so wonderful and like you’re on the same page, but then other times it’s like, who are you?

2. They’re constantly late and/or expect you to revolve your schedule around theirs. It’s amazing how they can make it on time to work yet anytime you have plans they’re at least 20 minutes late. They don’t have respect for your time or what’s happening in your life and they always have an excuse.

3. Just when you think it’s over they text you. You haven’t heard from them in 3 weeks and told yourself you weren’t going to waste anymore time on the situation to then get a random text in the middle of the day acting like nothing has happened and no time has passed. What the hell is with this? In the famous words of LC, “As soon as you stop thinking about them, they’ll send you a text message or they’ll call you, because they know you just stopped thinking about them. It’s like radar.”

4. They stay cautiously in the gray area, thus avoiding taking responsibility for what happens. They shut down if you try to discuss the state of your relationship. It feels like you’re in a relationship sometimes but other times you’re not so sure. You try and get clarification and they avoid it like the plague. They never admit to the gray area, only the black and white, saying things like, “we were never exclusive!” instead of the implication of time spent together. They act as though because they never put a label on what you were they don’t have to take responsibility for your feelings.

5. They usually start every conversation with apologizing. They’re sorry for being late, sorry for not being available whatever day you tried to hang with them before. They apologize for work, for their family, for their pet, their schedule, and whatever else seems to always get in the way of their life that makes it so impossible to see you on a regular basis.

6. They’re always on their phone when you’re with them but go days without responding to texts or Facebook messages, claiming they were too busy or they “didn’t see them.” Okay, honestly, how does anyone who does this and says this think that is a believable excuse even in the slightest? In today’s world of being tied to our phones and social media 24/7 there’s no way in hell you didn’t check your messages. This excuse needs to just be retired because no one’s believing it.

7. They’re always “busy.” Their general unavailability and inability to respond to messages within a decent timeframe always comes down to the fact they say they’re just “so busy.” We’re all busy, bro. Everyone knows if you really want to see someone and you’re truly interested you find a way to make time for them, regardless of the other obligations in life.

8. They always leave you wondering if they really like you. You’re trying your hardest to not to look like a total fool and often wonder if you should just get the hint they’re just not that into you, but then everytime you’re together it’s perfect. They’re at their most charming self here. You think that maybe, just maybe, it’s possible you two will eventually come together. In this moment together you feel as though you finally have what you want. Then, later, after a week of unanswered texts you feel completely confused, as if you merely invented this entire relationship/non-relationship in your head. Do they really like you? They say yes. You want to believe them. You try to believe them. But you just don’t know what the truth is.

9. They act secretive about the rest of their life. You ask questions about what they’ve been up to or what they’re doing over the weekend and all you get is vague half-answers. It seems as though they don’t really want you to know what they’re doing. Ever.

10. They lead you on, perhaps without even realizing they’re leading you on. When you question them about why things are the way they are (their excuses, unavailability, etc) they act confused and say they’re simply misunderstood. You ask if you should just end whatever it is you two are doing and they don’t want to. Again, it’s all about the gray area with them. They’re too afraid to commit to anything more yet they don’t want to let you go, leaving you in a perpetual state of “what the fuck?” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Former senior staff writer and producer at Thought Catalog.

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