1. That boy who lived across from you on your floor in your dorm.
You heard all the advice—never hook up with a boy on your floor! That drunken night after going to that frat party, you hooked up with that boy anyway, and now you wish freshman year would end every time you see him eating in the dining commons.
2. That senior frat brother that you met once.
You creeped on his Facebook but weren’t sure if he had a girlfriend. You’re too scared to go back to that frat to ask because you’re too afraid that the brothers will think you are another freshman ho tryna drink their booze for free. Besides, you know none of the brothers.
3. Your friend’s roommate.
Damnnnnn that is some fine booty. But he’s just not that into you. You’ve tried. You even wore slutty clothing to your friend’s house on a Tuesday afternoon. You even tried drinking shots before you went to your friend’s house to boost your confidence. Nothing. He’s too into white girls and you’re Asian. Sigh.
4. That random Tinder boy.
You decide to take the risk and meet that Tinder boy you swiped right on. He had the body from all those mirror pictures of his six-pack. You meet him at midnight because he thought it was “more romantic.” He was not what he said he was, and he asked to stay the night in your apartment. You smile kindly and bring him to your friend’s fraternity so they can take care of him.
5. The guy you had a legitimate crush on, but you were actually the side bitch.
He did well in school. He was nice. He seemed to have a future. He was attractive. He was nice to you! He took you on a date. You almost went all the way with him. You accidentally showed him your worst side. He never called you again. Two days later he had a girlfriend that looks almost like you. Coincidence?
6. That guy you keep going to even though you have no chemistry.
He could be a frat bro, your roommate, your roommate’s friend, that dude you met in class—anyone. He’s that guy you go to when you get sloppy. He lets you sleep over. You guys usually fool around. You pretend nothing happened the next time you guys see each other. It’s like we both have amnesia. You’re never really sure if he really likes you or if he just wants to fuck. In fact, you never really know if he has a girlfriend and he never knows if you have a boyfriend. We all might be cheating.
7. The first guy you went all the way with.
You’re not sure why you did it. He seemed like he was into you. After that night, he disappeared and didn’t speak to you again. Maybe that was only a one-night stand.
8. That guy who just happens to have a girlfriend and is faithful.
You weren’t trying to be a home-wrecker. You just wanted to test the waters. Ugh—he is perfect, but taken. His girlfriend probably hates you. She is obviously not as fabulous as you. She may be “smoking hot” in his eyes, but you’re Beyoncé.
9. Your TA or professor.
Wait, is he married? How old is he? Does he have a six-pack, or does he have six children? So many questions. Going to class is always a plus because you can hear his voice. Maybe you should go see him in his office just to get closer to him.
10. The right one.
He is the one and he knows it and feels the same way. You guys get each other. You don’t actually have to be drunk to be comfortable fooling around. You do more things than fool around. You watch TV with no makeup on. You go on adventures to the supermarket. You complete each other.