14 People Share The Life-Saving Breakup Advice That Helped Them Finally Move On


1. “You can’t control whether or not the other person misses you or changes their mind and wants you again. But you can at least control how you spend your time and what you do with your life. The more you work hard to create a life outside of them, the happier you’ll someday be that you are no longer with them.”

–Tara, 22

2. “Every time you remember something great about them and you start to miss them, counter it with something about them that really used to frustrate you or upset you. There will be way more stuff than you expect.”

–Nikko, 25

3. “You seriously have to take it one day at a time. Listen to that phrase and actually take it seriously, it’s a cliche but it works. Don’t try to get over them today, just get through today.”

–Mathew, 23

4. “It’s better that you ended things now when clearly things weren’t working between you two, then to get too scared to break up and end up getting married out of fear and then just getting divorced like six years from now.”

–Aubrey, 29

5. “Everything is more ‘rosy retrospection’ and everything seems way more romantic when you look at the relationship after it’s already ended. Then, you only remember the good parts. So try to remember the hard and bad parts about it, cuz the bad parts were there too.”

–Cassandra, 27

6. “Pick up a new hobby with no motive other than to just enjoy it, have fun with it, and not worry about how good you are at it.”

–Sylvia, 31

7. “Even though you are sad, you are still a thousand times lighter without her toxic presence in your life.”

–Philip, 24

8. “Find a brand new, dramatic, guilty-pleasure kind of tv show and only watch it with yourself and bingewatch the whole thing. It won’t make your pain go away, but it will at least give you something fun and distracting to do while you are actually in pain.”

–Layne, 25

9. “You can’t make them miss you, but you can definitely make them realize they gave up something great if you take 100% of your sadness and channel that energy into your friends, your career, your goals, etc.”

–André, 28

10. “Does it help you to know that our whole family was super relieved when you guys broke up? Not because we wanted you to be sad, but because you were so much more reserved and anxious and sad when you were with him.”

–Leslee, 27

11. “You have to keep getting up and living. It doesn’t mean you cannot also be sad and depressed. But just do both at the same time. Eventually, you’ll stop trying and it will just become second nature and then day by day, you’ll just be living more and being sad less.”

–Everett, 28

12. “Ask your friends to tell you why you are so much better without them. Trust me, they’ll come up with at least fifty reasons each.”

–Stacy, 24

13. “Go to therapy. Don’t be ashamed. Tons of people start therapy because they’re trying to get over a breakup and they end up learning the therapy helped them in way more ways than just that.”

–Saul, 32

14. “Start exercising. It won’t make your heart and brain less depressed but it will make your body look damn good. And that can be the kicking off point that you need to help your mind and heart.”

–Trey, 24 Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I’m a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

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