17 Changes To Make In Your Love Life In 2017

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1.

Be selective with who you give your heart to. Make sure that they are worthy, that they deserve it, that they will hold it carefully.

2. 

Do the same thing with the hearts of others. Be gentle, be respectful, remember that any heart that is placed in your hands is attached to someone’s soul.

3.

Remember that the timeline of your love life will always be the right timeline for you. Who cares if your one friend got married at 24 or your other friend got engaged at 29 or your sister had her first baby at 31. Remember that whichever way your life works out is the exact way it is supposed to work out.

4.

Understand that someone wanting to be with you simply because they are lonely is not love – it’s selfishness and fear.

5.

Be comfortable with standing up for yourself when you’re right, and be comfortable with apologizing when you’re wrong.

6.

Stop wasting your time with people who make you feel small, or not good enough, or like you need to change yourself.

7. 

Remind yourself that it’s completely possible to be in a healthy and happy relationship and to still have a completely solid sense of self and a solid sense of independence.

8.

Understand that if you want to feel the pure high of truly falling in love, you have to be willing to jump and you have to be willing to get hurt.

9.

If you get hurt, remember that it’s so much better to have let your heart experience this than it is to sit ‘safely’ in a dark room, never being shattered but also never truly experiencing how much the human heart can feel.

10.

Remember that you are under no obligation to explain or rationalize any part of your love life to anyone, unless you want to.

11.

Listen to and take in the advice of people you trust, but remember that at the end of the day, only you know what’s best for you.

12.

Remind yourself every day that you don’t need a significant other in order to combat your loneliness. And that if you can work up the courage to ask for help, the people who care about you will do everything in their power to show you that you’re never alone.

13.

Tell someone when you like them and don’t feel weird about it. If they like you too, great. If they don’t, this is the best possible way to weed out the kind of person who is just here to play games.

14.

Remember that real love means seeing one another’s greatest flaws and insecurities and loving each other all the more because of how human it makes you and how much stronger it makes your connection.

15.

Don’t apologize for having high standards, as long as those standards are focused on finding someone who treats you well and makes you feel loved.

16.

Ignore the temptation to compare your love life to everyone else’s. It’s a waste of time, it’s never accurate, and all it does is spin you in circles about something you never know the full story on anyways. Focus on you, and your love life, and ignore everything else.

17. 

Love yourself enough to choose good love. You deserve it. TC mark

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Kim Quindlen

I'm a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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