14 People On The Red Flag They Wish They Hadn’t Overlooked In Their Ex


1. “She had serious trust issues. To some extent, I would have understood it and tried to be flexible with it, but eventually she demanded to read through my texts every night and asked for all my passwords and crap like that. And I hadn’t given her a single reason not to trust me.”

–Darren, 26

2. “He wanted to do everything together. At first I thought it was sweet, but it got to the point where I would make plans to have a girls’ dinner with my friends and his feelings would literally be hurt if he wasn’t invited. It was an exhausting relationship and that’s pretty much the reason why I ended it.”

–Cara, 25

3. “He didn’t introduce me to his family for a year and a half. I kept buying his excuses even though subconsciously I knew he just didn’t want to introduce me because some part of him thought he was settling.”

–Annelise, 28

4. “He would belittle me constantly, or say embarrassing things about me in front of our friends. I waived it off then, but I wish I had understood how cruel it was so I didn’t waste eight months of my life on him.”

–Alexandria, 27

5. “She told me I met everything on her checklist when we first started dating and I was initially really flattered. Then I learned that was just one of an infinite number of ridiculous, shallow, completely impossible sets of standards that she expected me to meet and all it got me was a miserable seven months of dating her before I walked away.”

–Shawn, 30

6. “He wanted to sleep in separate beds. I’m honestly surprised I dated him for more than a week. I still don’t get it.”

–Jace, 26

7. “She was a gossip, the ultimate definition of a gossip. Unnecessarily mean, just bad-mouthing every single person possible, even the people she constantly referred to as her ‘closest friends.’ I’m not sure why I thought I’d be exempt from her trash-talking.”

–Kay, 24

8. “Our fights were unhealthy. Instead of trying to work it out with me like an adult, he’d be passive aggressive for hours or even days and when I’d bring it up and ask him what’s wrong, he’d just say a bunch of angry, hurtful things until I managed to pull whatever was bothering him out of him. If you sense that with someone in the beginning, get out of there. You can’t fix that.”

–Charlotte, 29

9. “She was a compulsive liar. I wish I had turned around and just ran the other way on day one.”

–Brent, 24

10. “He was the most selfish person I had ever met, but I liked him so much in the beginning that I let it slide. But that kind of behavior doesn’t ever change, no matter how much they claim to love you.”

–Chase, 31

11. “She never asked about me. The minute she got home from work it was all about her day and her life and her friends and I don’t even think she realized she was doing it. One time she asked ‘how are you?’ and I was honestly shocked.”

–Zak, 27

12. “He was too, too dependent on me. There was nothing super mean or negative or angry about him like you hear with most red flags. He was super sweet. But he was dependent to the point where he was a walking ball of anxiety, and he wanted me to fix it instead of doing what he needed to do in the first place, which was get professional help.”

–Michele, 26

13. “She stopped hanging out with her friends as soon as we started dating. Which 1) makes you a shitty friend and 2) put way more pressure on us because I still maintained my friendships. That’s the biggest red flag you can see in my opinion. Shouldn’t have ignored it. Learned my lesson.”

–Evan, 27

14. “He was rude to taxi drivers, baristas, retail employees, basically anyone who he deemed ‘unimportant.’ And then a huge kiss ass to his boss and anyone with an impressive job. Basically the worst kind of person. So glad it’s over but I wish it hadn’t taken me three years.”

–Jaclyn, 28Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I’m a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

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