16 Everyday Ways He Shows You He Actually Loves You (That You’re Not Noticing)

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1. He gives you your space. Even though he loves to spend time with you and be around you, he understands that you have a life outside of him and that you are your own person regardless of your relationship with him.

2. He’s capable of planning romantic dates with you, but what he loves more than anything else is doing everyday things with you – running errands, cleaning, cooking. The types of ordinary activities that strip you of all distractions and allow you to just enjoy the company of each other, even while carrying out mundane tasks.

3. He calls you out when he needs to. He sees you as nothing but pure potential, so if he thinks you’re not challenging yourself enough simply because he thinks you’re afraid or insecure, he’s not afraid to tell you what you need to hear.

4. He laughs whenever you do something that society deems as ‘unladylike.’ Burping, farting, cursing, not looking ‘presentable,’ or just generally not being perfect in every way.

5. He loves to admire you when you get all done up, but he makes you feel your most beautiful when you’re makeup-free and in your coziest pair of pajamas.

6. He’s not afraid to be vulnerable around you, to show other sides of himself other than the cool, levelheaded vibe that many people think they need to be giving off when they’re dating.

7. He’s not afraid to be silly around you, to be childlike and goofy and as giggly as a schoolgirl when it comes to things that excite him and bring him joy.

8. And not only that, but he wants to share those parts of his life with you. To take you to the midnight premiere of one of his favorite film franchises, to discuss all the intricate details within the plot of his favorite tv show, to ask your opinion about one of his passion projects at work and what he can do to make it better, to stay up late and tell you about the weird fears or OCD habits he had as a kid. He has no qualms about appearing less-than-suave around you, because you just make him feel like himself.

9. He doesn’t get skeeved out when you need to vent to someone about how your period is particularly rough this month.

10. And, hey, if you really need him to pick you up some tampons, he’ll pick you up some tampons. And he won’t make it weird.

11. He always thinks you smell great, even when you’re a big, sweaty mess.

12. He understands that typical romantic gestures (flowers, chocolates, etc) can be nice every once in a while, but he really tries to show you he loves you in more down-to-earth kinds of ways – heating up your car for you in the winter, calling your siblings on their birthdays, offering to keep you company on your trip to the pharmacy. The kinds of things that never seem noteworthy in the moment, but that build up over time into the kind of bricks that strong relationships are made out of.

13. He apologizes when he should, and he knows how to take responsibility for himself and his actions.

14. He listens to relationship advice from people he respects, and he actually tries to use it, even if it’s as subtle as remembering to say “thanks.”

15. He’s not afraid of you on your worst days – bad hangovers, PMSing, stressful days at the office, etc. He loves you anyway, and does what he can to make you happy without coddling you – just as you do for him.

16. He loves you even more after the honeymoon phase – after the initial passion has peaked and the relationship has simmered into a more steady and ongoing but slower growth. He loves you because you’re real, and because the two of you are nothing but yourselves around each other. TC mark

Kim Quindlen

I'm a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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