1. Think about a time when you really didn’t want to go somewhere (work, a job interview, class, whatever) because you were afraid or intimidated. Think about how you went anyway. How you reigned in your fear or swallowed your pride, because you knew you could do it. Because you knew that you’re almost always stronger than you feel.
2. Think about a moment when you laughed so hard that you cried, or even peed yourself. How light you felt in that moment, how free. How it’s happened more than once in your life, and how it will certainly happen again, even if you don’t feel like laughing right now.
3. Think about a time when you stood up for yourself, when you knew you deserved to be treated better than the way that you were in that moment. Think about how capable you are of demanding more for yourself.
4. Think about a time that you accomplished something you never thought you’d be able to do in a million years. A class you thought you’d never pass, a mile time you never thought you’d reach while running, a presentation you nailed even when you were so nervous that you felt like you couldn’t breathe. Think about how you did that. You. All on your own.
5. Think about an instance where you helped out a stranger, when there was nothing in it for you and you acted out of sheer instinct. Think of how happy it made your soul.
6. Think about a time when someone else cried because you cried, and how loved it made you feel to know that someone else could be so deeply affected by your sadness.
7. Think of a time when you climbed into your warm bed after a super long and stressful day, and of how it felt even more amazing than it usually did. Think about how easy it can be to feel such strong pleasure and happiness from such a seemingly small, trivial thing.
8. Think of a moment when you really wanted to lash out at someone but managed to contain yourself. Think of how badly you wanted to lose it in the moment, how good you knew it would feel. And then think about how much better you felt afterwards when you didn’t do this. How good it felt to know you are in so much more control of your behavior when you are emotionally awake.
9. Think about a time when you were completely content with doing nothing, with sitting in silence and listening to your own breath. Remember how good it felt to be that in tune with your own soul.
10. Think of an instance in which a friend was having a really hard time and you made them laugh. Remember how much joy you could feel simply from making someone else’s day even just the tiniest bit better.
11. Think of a day where you really didn’t think you were going to make it through to the end of it. Where you were so overcome with sadness or loneliness or fear that you woke up and thought How am I possibly going to survive [work/school/life] today? Think of how you got out of bed anyway, hesitant every step of the way, and made it through. Because even when your heart and your brain feel practically paralyzed, you are tougher than you think.
12. Think of a time when a new place finally, finally began to feel like home. Think of the regular, ordinary moment when you came to realize this. Remember how proud and resilient it made you feel.
13. Think of a moment when someone really listened to you. When they looked you in the eye and heard what you were saying and acknowledged the lens through which you view the world. Think about how it nearly brought you to tears to truly feel like you were being seen.
14. Think about all of the times, since that moment, that you have made an effort to make someone else feel that way. How good it feels to look at someone and let them know, I see you.
15. Think about an emotional moment shared with someone else (in a nonromantic way) that was so intense that it took your breath away. Remember how amazing it felt to understand that your soul and your physical body are truly connected.
16. Think of a moment when someone put you completely at ease simply from a genuine smile. Think of how sneakily powerful that force can be.
17. Think of an instant where you laughed when you were sad, and how confusingly beautiful that sound felt as it popped out of your lungs.
18. Think of how many sad moments you’ve already gotten through up until now. How you always came out on the other side stronger, or wiser, or just different in some way – no matter how long it took. Remember that that will happen to you again. Remember that soon, this breakup will be just another ‘time’ that you remember, somewhere down the line, when you’re changed for the better.