15 Guys Reveal The First Thing They Look For When Meeting A Buddy’s New Girlfriend

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1. “A good, warm laugh. If she can show up and immediately start having fun with everyone, she’s got my approval.”

–Ben, 25


2. “I just watch how my friend behaves around her. If he’s relaxed and having fun and doesn’t seem anxious and she just lets him do his thing, I’m all about her.”

–José, 23


3. “There’s always gonna be that one tool who says something about boobs or an ass. But most of us are just interested in getting to know her and making sure she seems like she cares about our friend and will be a good fit for him.”

–Nyle, 27


4. “Smart, friendly, good sense of humor, genuine smile.”

–Drew, 26


5. “I don’t care if she’s super shy or quiet in the beginning, but I at least want to see that she can carry a conversation like a normal person. You know, eye contact, not looking at your phone, all that stuff.”

–Carl, 29


6. “Good teeth.”

–Marc, 30


7. “There’s nothing specific that I look for but here’s what I hate: whining, too much makeup, Snapchatting every damn thing, and drama of any kind.”

–Preston, 24


8. “I’m always impressed if a buddy brings a new girl around and she can just walk around and socialize without needing to be standing next to him or clinging to him the entire time. If she just goes off on her own and introduces herself to people, I immediately like her.”

–James, 30


9. “Just someone who laughs a lot. Nothing is more contagious than that.”

–Danny, 25


10. “My best friend brought this new girl to a wedding we all got invited to, and she spent so much time talking to everyone individually and asking questions and remembered everybody’s name and we were all really impressed with how warm she was.”

–Michael, 31


11. “I always appreciate it when I meet a new potential significant other who’s just really natural-looking and doesn’t wear a lot of makeup (or any at all).”

–Scott, 22


12. “Nice face, especially eyes.”

–Jared, 21


13. “My buddy’s new girlfriend came out to meet us all for beers and apparently she had just been to the gym and she showed up in gym clothes and messy hair and no makeup and had a few beers with us and it was just great to see her relax and goof around and have a ton of fun with my friend.”

–Chase, 24


14. “All I want for each of my friends is to be with someone who they can act like themselves around. That’s really the only selling point.”

–Spencer, 28


15. “Honest, genuine, real, funny, kind. Cute doesn’t hurt.”

–Rob, 32 TC mark

Kim Quindlen

I'm a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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