1. Your idea of cleaning your room is piling all of your clothes onto your desk chair and assuming you’ll take care of it ‘some other time.’
2. Basically any version of you cleaning just involves you putting crap into piles that you will tackle on the day when you magically become a more organized person.
3. The last time you made your bed was probably when you were a kid and you were trying to prove to your parents that you were responsible enough to get a dog.
4. …And you never looked back.
5. Instead of folding all your clothes in your laundry basket after they’ve been washed, you just pull them out one-by-one each time you need something to wear.
6. Technically speaking, you consider this a ‘system’ because eventually the basket is emptied out enough and the hamper is filled up enough that it signals to you that it’s time to do laundry again.
7. When you visit friends, it takes less than sixty minutes for you to spread your belongings all over their living space. And they always have to mail you at least three different things that you accidentally left behind.
8. Looking for something in your bag is a complicated process because it is a black hole of old receipts, gum wrappers, chapstick that you forgot you had until this moment, three pairs of headphones, and Tic Tacs that have escaped from their plastic prison.
9. Every time you travel, you’re shocked at your ability to enter a beautiful, pristine hotel room and ruin it within minutes.
10. Everything you own is always lost, all the time.
11. But you prefer the term ‘temporarily misplaced.’
12. You’re always really proud of yourself when you put a bowl or plate in the dishwasher immediately after you used it.
13. Being in your room often feels like Christmas because you’re always discovering items that you haven’t seen for months at a time.
14. “Sorry, my car’s a little messy.”
–You, every day.
15. When your roommates have recently cleaned any shared living spaces, you immediately withdraw to your room because you know it’s in your nature to effortlessly destroy their hard work.
16. You find that the messier your bed is, the more comfortable it gets.
17. Every time you’re tempted to buy a planner or any other organization tool, you stop yourself and think of all of the planners you’ve bought with high hopes in the past that only ended up melting into the giant glob that is your belongings.
18. Sometimes that coffee mug sitting on your desk has only been there for two hours. Other times, it’s been there for three weeks.
19. You’re reading this list because you spent too long looking for something in your bedroom or your bag and eventually gave up and retreated to the distraction that is the internet.