21 Signs You’ve Reached The ‘Old Person’ Milestone Of Your Twenties

New Girl
New Girl

1. Even if you feel nostalgic about your college years, you’re well past the point of ever wanting to go back. When college kids you know talk about their most recent weekend shenanigans, you usually cringe and say something like, “That sounds awful.”

2. And you don’t even realize you’ve been referring to these college students as “kids” until one of your younger friends or siblings points it out to you.

3. You’ll only take a shot if someone begs you. But if it’s any sort of bright, neon color? Forget about it.

4. Half the time, you pass the shot off to your younger friend or sibling when no one is looking.

5. If you don’t have social plans secured by 8 o’clock, there’s no chance in hell you’re making it out.

6. Wine has become a night capper, as opposed to a party starter. One or two glasses and you’re ready to hit the hay.

7. You’ve started focusing on comfort above all else when picking out shoes.

8. You’re arriving home from the bars now at the same time, or sometimes before, you used to head out to them in your early twenties.

9. Your eyes have been conditioned to know that any picture posted on social media in which a female’s left hand is resting on the chest of her significant other is the universal sign for HI WE’RE ENGAGED.

10. You’ve realized you’re now the same age (or older) than many of the adult characters from your favorite childhood movies. How are you now the same age (26) as Meredith from The Parent Trap?!?

11. You complain about the way teenagers these days handle social media and technology.

12. …And frequently inform them about what it was like when you were a kid – in the days before smartphones and Instagram and hashtags.

13. Your favorite kinds of pants are the ones that have elastic waistbands.

14. Your idea of sleeping in is: any time after 8 in the morning.

15. The actors who are playing new parents in commercials are, like, your age.

16. Your back suddenly hurts ALL THE TIME.

17. Any drunken late night out almost always occurs because you attended a wedding.

18. And your hangovers last for (what seems like) fourteen days.

19. You have become the person trying to hide their yawns in the bar at 11 o’clock at night.

20. Your body is no longer capable of eating everything in sight while still staying at a healthy weight.

21. Your favorite shot to take is Pepto-Bismol. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I’m a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

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