23 Guys On The Biggest Red Flag They Watch For When Dating


1. “I don’t want to do things just for the sake of doing them or saying you did them. Date night sounds great and I want to have date nights, but I don’t want to go out to a nice restaurant just so we can put a picture on Instagram.”

-Jim, 26

2. “If she still talks about her ex a lot, I’m gone.”

-Mark, 23

3. “No drama. Cliche I know, but I’ve dated too many dramatic people to ever want to be anywhere near the faintest hint of drama ever again.”

-Darrell, 27

4. “Immaturity is the big one for me. If I don’t feel like I’m connecting with her on the same emotional or intellectual level, it’s not something I can really move on from.”

-Patrick, 30

5. “I can’t deal with Debbie Downers. I’m a really positive guy, so if I’m hanging out with someone who is just negative all the time and always complaining about stuff, I always cut it off.”

-Tommy, 24

6. “Someone who spends their whole time on their phone instead of being present in what’s actually going on. Especially if we are on a date.”

-Andrew, 30

7. “It’s really important that my family and friends like her. If they don’t, it’s usually because they’re seeing something I’m not about how we’re not good for each other.”

-Connor, 28

8. “If she cries every time she drinks – red flag.”

-Lucas, 22

9. “I will not go anywhere near someone who is passive-aggressive. If you are upset with me, let’s save ourselves a bunch of time and have you come right out with it instead of dancing around what’s bothering you. Because I will not be able to figure it out otherwise.”

-Martin, 31

10. “If her friends are nuts, I have a hard time getting around that.”

-Kyle, 23

11. “Someone who talks badly about other people. The quickest way to tell whether or not a girl is insecure is by how she talks about other women.”

-Aaron, 26

12. “If we’ve been dating for a little while and she hasn’t introduced me to any of her friends, that’s usually cause for concern.”

-Joe, 24

13. “I pay attention to the way she talks to servers, Uber drivers, retail employees, that kind of thing. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat people in the ‘service industry’ or whatever you wanna call it.”

-Roger, 29

14. “Clingy.”

-Will, 21

15. “Someone who doesn’t know how to hold a conversation.”

-Vin, 25

16. “When we’re texting, if she has bad grammar or can’t put a sentence together, it really bothers me more than I’d like it to.”

-Charlie, 28

17. “Absolutely no drama.”

-Josh, 22

18. “This isn’t really a red flag, but I love dating women who are just as interested in music as I am. So if I’ve gone out on a few dates with someone and then she tells me she’s not a big music fan, that’s a huge bummer.”

-Jordan, 26

19. “Maybe this is shallow but I can’t stand loud talkers. It’s just so obnoxious and it drives me nuts.”

-Shawn, 30

20. “A red flag is if she only ever wants to make plans with me. I don’t want to date someone whose only social life is her boyfriend.”

-Drew, 25

21. “I stay away from anyone who is judgmental or rude to other people. I don’t want that in my life.”

-Brendan, 29

22. “I’m wary of dating someone who doesn’t have any hobbies outside of work. I think if you don’t have other things going on besides your job and your relationship, you end up spending almost too much time on the relationship.”

-Jake, 27

23. “I want to be with someone who is driven and hard-working and passionate about something, even if that something is not her career. So if she’s lazy or not interested in anything, I’ll steer clear.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

-Robert, 29

I’m a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

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