Thought Catalog

19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand

  • 0
Flickr / chrisschoenbohm
Flickr / chrisschoenbohm

1. When you text someone that you’re “5 mins away” it means you’re still sitting on your couch in your sweatpants.

2. Your friends start lying to you about what time they want you to meet them somewhere. If they actually want you there at 8:30, they’ll tell you to come at 8.

3. …You try to be offended by this, but then you arrive at 8:30 and you’re like, point taken. 

4. If you actually do arrive to something on time, your friends usually greet you with a surprised “What are you doing here?!”

5. And by the way, for you, “on time” means any arrival period that’s within a 10 minute range of when you should have gotten there.

6. You used to try to include reasons for your lateness when you would text your friends to let them know you were going to be late.

7. …But now, you usually just straight up say “Sorry, I’ll be like 30 minutes late” while subtly acknowledging that it’s useless for you to even try to include an excuse at this point.

8. When you actually leave on time and then something out of your control delays you, like a traffic jam or a late bus, it feels strangely painful. YOU WERE SO CLOSE TO PUNCTUALITY.

9. For the most part, your reasons for being late are usually just mundane things you forgot to plan around – you got overconfident in the public transportation system, or you forgot to include parking time or time allotted for actually finding the restaurant you’re going to.

10. And if one of those things wasn’t the reason why you were late, it’s usually just that you were watching Netflix until the very. last. possible. second.

11. So when you actually do have a fantastic reason for why you were late, such as an insane Uber drive or getting held up while a police chase flew by, it doesn’t even matter, because everyone was expecting you to be late anyway and they’re not even waiting for a reason as to why.

12. If you were born on or ahead of your due date, someone at some point in your life has made the joke that the day you were born was the first and only time you were early/on schedule for anything! LOL.

13. But you don’t consider yourself late, you consider yourself time-optimistic.

14. You’ve set your watch, your car clock, and anything else you can think of, to be at least 5-6 minutes fast. But it still doesn’t help you get anywhere on time. Instead, you just think, Oh perfect! I’ve got another 5-6 minutes before I have to leave.

15. You’re really good at entering a room as quietly as possible, to the point where sometimes people don’t even notice. You got a lot of practice from the four years you spent arriving late to every single college class you ever attended.

16. When being on time is essential, like when you’re trying to catch a flight, you usually include at least two hours of leeway time to make up for the fact that you just KNOW you’re not going to leave when planned. So if you have to leave your house no later than 2 pm, you plan to leave at noon – and you end up leaving around 2:10.

17. Your life basically falls apart for two days whenever it’s Daylight Savings Time.

18. People are used to adding 15 minutes onto any time period you give them. So if you text them that you’ll be there at 9, they know to expect you at 9:15.

19. You’re going to be late to whatever engagement you have right now because you got overconfident in the amount of time you had and decided to read this point instead of leaving your house. TC mark

Kim Quindlen

I'm a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

📗 The Best 📘🎄 📙 Holiday Gifts 📕

(📚) Hi book nerds (and lovers of book nerds)! 🤓

When looking for that special, one-of-a-kind gift, look no further than Thought Catalog Books’ curated selection of titles written by your favorite authors.

Whether you’re 😍 for poetry, or adventure travel 🌴 is your thing, head to ShopCatalog.com for books that will stir your heart and embolden your spirit. All books are limited edition and NOT available on Amazon. Bring something truly special home for the holidays. 🎁📗

Click for unique gifts...
Powered by Revcontent

Poetry Lovers! 💖

Love a soft person. The ones who are positive, even in the worst of circumstances. Someone whose strength is not in bravado, but in their quiet. Someone who is strong for others because that is what is needed in that moment. Someone who is the moon that soothes instead of the sun that burns. Someone who sees the very best in people even when you think they aren’t worth it. The kind of person who always wants to do the best for those they love.

“I bought this on a whim to read as I was resting for the night, and I do not regret it one bit! Everything about the poetry in this book is amazing, heart breaking, and soul searching. It will lift your spirits on your darkest days. I want to thank the author so much for writing this, as it’s something I will be rereading a lot! Always remember, everything about you is important. You matter.” —McKayla

Click to heal your heart

More From Thought Catalog

19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand is cataloged in , , , , , ,
  • http://jehanforro.wordpress.com j. forreaux

    I call it ‘arriving fashionably late’. Hahaha..

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/kim-quindlen/2015/03/21-ways-you-know-hes-a-genuinely-good-guy/ 21 Ways You Know He’s A Genuinely Good Guy | Thought Catalog

    […] In Your Friend Group Read this: Here’s The Real Reason Why Women’s Menstrual Cycles Sync Up Read this: 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand Cataloged […]

  • http://forgetminot.wordpress.com forgetminot

    Reblogged this on forgetminot and commented:
    This so me! #Guilty

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/emily-jackson/2015/03/stop-trying-to-fix-me-because-i-am-broken/ Stop Trying To Fix Me Because I Am Broken | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 30 Quotes That Will Make You Rethink What Love Means Read this: 21 People On How You Know You’re In Love Read this: 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/charlotte-gilbert/2015/03/3-interesting-discoveries-ive-made-from-trolling-venmo/ 3 Interesting Discoveries I’ve Made from Trolling Venmo | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand Read this: 50 Fun Date Ideas For When You’re Sick Of Just Going Out To Eat Read this: 15 Things Ambitious Girls Do A Little Bit Differently When They’re Dating […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/kimquindlen/2015/03/an-ode-to-the-skinny-arm-and-the-reason-that-it-exists/ An Ode To The Skinny Arm And The Reason That It Exists | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand Read this: Here’s The Real Reason Why Women’s Menstrual Cycles Sync Up Read this: 14 Signs You’re In A Jim-And-Pam Relationship […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/kim-quindlen/2015/03/15-signs-youre-exactly-where-youre-supposed-to-be/ 15 Signs You’re Exactly Where You’re Supposed To Be | Thought Catalog

    […] this: 21 Ways You Know He’s A Genuinely Good Guy Read this: 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand Read this: 15 Things Ambitious Girls Do A Little Bit Differently When They’re Dating Cataloged […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/johanna-mort/2015/03/23-times-nick-miller-completely-understands-life-as-a-twenty-something/ 23 Times Nick Miller Completely Understands Life As A Twenty-Something | Thought Catalog

    […] Girl Read this: 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand Read this: 18 Moments That Prove Larry David Should Be King Of The World Read this: 15 Times Ted […]

  • http://nigeriatechnology.com/23-times-nick-miller-completely-understands-life-as-a-twenty-something/ 23 Times Nick Miller Completely Understands Life As A Twenty-Something - NEWS | Phones | Nigeria Science | Technology |Computers

    […] Girl Read this: 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand Read this: 18 Moments That Prove Larry David Should Be King Of The World Read this: 15 Times Ted […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/kim-quindlen/2015/03/an-open-letter-to-the-cat-whos-never-belonged-to-me/ An Open Letter To The Cat Who’s Never Belonged To Me | Thought Catalog

    […] You’re Supposed To Be Read this: Here’s The Real Reason Why Women’s Menstrual Cycles Sync Up Read this: 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand Cataloged […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/johanna-mort/2015/03/hilarious-mindy-kaling-tweets-to-get-you-through-to-the-weekend/ Hilarious Mindy Kaling Tweets To Get You Through To The Weekend | Thought Catalog

    […] this: 15 Things Ambitious Girls Do A Little Bit Differently When They’re Dating Read this: 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand Read this: 23 Times Nick Miller Completely Understands Life As A Twenty-Something Cataloged […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/rob-gunther/2015/03/breakfast-is-the-least-important-meal-of-the-day-despite-what-anyone-else-tells-you/ Breakfast Is The Least Important Meal Of The Day (Despite What Anyone Else Tells You) | Thought Catalog

    […] this: 13 Things No One Understands About Working In Retail Read this: 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand Read this: 12 Classic Texts Every Worrier Has Sent At Least […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/marie-loiseau/2015/03/20-refreshing-traits-you-should-look-for-in-a-perfect-roomate/ 20 Refreshing Traits You Should Look For In A Perfect Roomate | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand Read this: 8 Honest Qualities About First Borns You Need To Know Before You Date One Read this: 12 Classic Texts Every Worrier Has Sent At Least Once […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/brenda-della-casa/2015/03/8-reasons-why-a-drama-free-best-friend-is-the-best-kind-to-have/ 8 Reasons Why A Drama-Free Best Friend Is The Best Kind To Have | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 21 Things Women Who Live Joyful, Fulfilling Lives Do Differently Read this: Badass! 15 Things Bold, Fearless Alpha-Women Do Differently Read this: 12 Classic Texts Every Worrier Has Sent At Least Once Read this: 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand […]

  • http://www.juliesjazz.com/friday-fun-12/ friday fun -

    […] YEP, ME! Each and every one of these! […]

  • https://betweentwoworlds14.wordpress.com/2015/03/14/19-things-only-chronically-late-people-understand/ 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand | Sunshine After the Rain
  • http://shannonmilligan.wordpress.com shannonmilligan

    Reblogged this on S.E Milligan.

  • http://iusedtoobecool.wordpress.com iusedtoobecool

    Reblogged this on tastefully offensive and commented:
    this is me! omg! i never knew their were others out there like this.

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/melanie-berliet/2015/03/25-things-only-chronically-early-people-understand/ 25 Things Only Chronically Early People Understand | Thought Catalog

    […] thanks to Kim Quindlen, whose 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand inspired this […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/bennett-johnston/2015/03/7-things-you-should-know-about-your-sense-of-humor/ 7 Things You Should Know About Your Sense of Humor | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand Read this: 10 Ridiculous Rejection Text Messages Girls Actually Sent That Leave A Sting Read this: 50 Fun Date Ideas For When You’re Sick Of Just Going Out To Eat […]

  • http://geogee.wordpress.com Gee

    Reblogged this on The GeoGee Experience.

  • http://www.thecollegecosmopolitan.com/sunday-reads2/ Sunday Reads

    […] you ALWAYS late? Maybe you’ll relate to the 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand. (ok, I’ll admit it. I can relate […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/kim-quindlen/2015/03/the-14-emotional-stages-of-ordering-delivery/ The 14 Emotional Stages Of Ordering Delivery | Thought Catalog

    […] You’re Still Single Read this: Here’s The Real Reason Why Women’s Menstrual Cycles Sync Up Read this: 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand Cataloged […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/kisty-mea/2015/03/24-life-altering-things-youll-learn-while-living-abroad-alone/ 24 Life Altering Things You’ll Learn While Living Abroad Alone | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 15 Things Ambitious Girls Do A Little Bit Differently When They’re Dating Read this: 50 Fun Date Ideas For When You’re Sick Of Just Going Out To Eat Read this: 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/kim-quindlen/2015/03/19-things-only-helplessly-messy-people-understand/ 19 Things Only Helplessly Messy People Understand | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: 19 Things Only Chronically Late People Understand Read this: 27 Things You Can Say To That Nosy Person Who Keeps Asking Why You’re Still Single Read this: 15 Awesome Things About Not Knowing What You Want To Do With Your Life Cataloged in […]

blog comments powered by Disqus