We masturbate. Sometimes a lot. It just means we’re comfortable with our bodies and playful with our sexuality, but not necessarily willing to discuss every aspect of it with you over breakfast. Shht!
We like to watch you fall in love with us, become clumsy with the things you were overly confident before and turn yourself into a surprisingly emotional creature. We love that. Really.
We wish you knew better how to handle introverts, anxious or depressed people. But if you’re reading this you might as well have a look at this practical guide to understanding our vulnerabilities better.
We truly appreciate you going down on us. Especially if you work on your skillful technique.
We compliment you a lot in our head.
If we say we don’t know, it usually means we don’t want to talk about it.
We sometimes dress up for other women, not for other men.
We love when foreplay is going long and suddenly turns into something a bit more dangerous.
Scratching our backs at night or petting our achy tummies when we’re menstruating is a great, affectionate gesture that you should probably do more often.
We don’t appreciate a beard when you go down on us. Sorry, it stings.
We think you’re hot when you’re being charismatic in public. We like to watch you from afar.
We truly love it when you look good for us.
We think we’re better at everything, mostly multitasking.
We like it when you wash our hair in the shower, especially when you take the time to add some extra conditioner on our split ends.
We love it when you’re a bit tipsy and you start talking about life.
We enjoy sexting, but we’d rather enjoy you in our bedroom.
We watch porn. We’re very picky about what we like.
No, we can’t stand your nosy mothers, especially when they call us every given day.
Generally, we’d be happier if you didn’t bring along your loud, humourless friends from college to our birthday parties.
We love you, sometimes more than you do. We just don’t feel like airing compliments your direction all the time or saying it every day. It’s more important for us to show it rather than exclaim it.
We fart, we burp, sometimes we don’t shower for days, but we don’t make it obvious.
We read your zodiac thoroughly. We’ve already studied your ascending sign, life path number and compatibility with other signs.
We keep secrets, we can fall for more than one guy at a time, and we like to keep our beauty products for ourselves.
