This Is Me Accepting You’re The One Who Got Away

You changed me. Morphing me into the person who I never had the courage to become on my own. Inspiring me to become the best version of myself.

By Kiana Azizian

Updated 6 years ago, September 23, 2018

I know I’m not supposed to still be in love with you, but I still am. We never seem to be able to pick the ones we fall in love with. But we all know love is blinding.

You came out of nowhere and changed the way I view the world. I won’t be the person who I am today if it wasn’t for you. You showed me so much about life. Taught me so much about the person who I am today. How could I still not be in love with you?

You changed me. Morphing me into the person who I never had the courage to become on my own. Inspiring me to become the best version of myself. Motivating me become a person who you could fall in love with. Hoping one day that you would be able return my love for you.

You have a passion for life; that was (and still is) my favorite thing about you. I love your urge to travel the entire world; your desire to make the most out of each and every day. I love your strength and integrity.

Honestly, I love most things about you.

You probably never realized this, but my love for you was so strong, I had to released you. Let you go off and explore this world on your own. Find yourself in a way you never dreamed possible. You needed to be set free. You are not one who can be held back. I never wanted to be the one to hold you back. I loved you so much that I had to have let go of you.

I loved you then, and I still love you now.

But here’s the catch of this all; I’m not supposed to still be in love with you, right? I’m supposed to pretend that I don’t love you. Don’t think about you. Don’t care about you anymore. Don’t miss you anymore.

But I do still love you. I still think about you every day. I still care about you more than ever. I still really miss you. How can I not be in love with you after everything we’ve been though?

Truthfully, it took me a long time to get over you. I couldn’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that we would not be able to be together. From the moment I laid eyes on you (you standing at the bottom of that staircase) I knew that you were forever going to be apart of my life. I guess I just never expected it to be like this.

I used to wear your love as a shackle. In a way hating you for everything you put me through. I broke my own heart in the process of setting you free. That being said, I am no longer sad that you are gone. Deep down, I knew things were never going to work out between us. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m still in love with you. I probably will be for the rest of my life.

They always claim that time heals all. But when it comes to you, time makes my love for you stronger. Every day that passes; I am able to appreciate what we had together. Appreciate you for everything that you taught me. Appreciate you for creating an everlasting love.