Give Yourself The Closure You Need

The thing about closure is that you don’t really need it in the way you think you do. Oftentimes, it’s better to give yourself the closure you need, not to go after the closure you think you need.

Let’s be honest, you say you want closure, but you really want another chance to change what happened. You want the big “I’m sorry I messed up. I love you,” moment, the grand poetic gesture. Reaching for the closure you think you need is just diving head first into something wrong for you, with high expectations weighing you down, too.

You cannot reach out to someone and expect things to be different. If you reach out to the person you’re trying to move on from, you’re setting yourself up for more heartache. You do this because you want to see if they’ll change their mind about you or your togetherness. You want to think it’s not really over, but the fact that you’re wondering this at all should be enough for you to move on and not ask them for anything else.

You have to find closure your own way. You have to let it all go.

You have to find peace in ways that may or may not be familiar, but necessary and important. Don’t text them back. Block their number. Block them on social media so you won’t be tempted to keep up with what they’re doing. Treat this as self-care, self-love, self-preservation.

You have to give yourself the closure you need, or at the very least, give yourself the chance to get it at all, and on your own.

About the author
Brooklyn-based poet, writer, avid coffee drinker, and music lover. Follow Kelly on Instagram or read more articles from Kelly on Thought Catalog.

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