When it comes to dating, we are all similar in the ways in which we try to be different.
You know what I mean?
Netflix’s new movie, The Perfect Date (starring Noah Centineo, Laura Marano, and Camila Mendes), shows us that whether if we’re applying for college or for a job or hoping to match with someone on a dating app, we all want to stand out from the rest.
I mean, if you went on a date with someone and they were everything you hoped and dreamed about, that’d be “perfect.” But nothing in life is perfect, especially dating. Nothing should be so cookie-cutter. So if you’re dating someone, or looking to date someone, you have to be authentic.
You have to show people who you really are. The people who are meant to be in your life will show up and stay.
Don’t be what someone else wants you to be.
Brooks (Noah Centineo) goes on a bunch of dates with people who message him on his app, requesting his services to be their fake dates. He’s a salsa dancer, an art lover, a tennis partner, and even a douchebag who wants to piss off the parents because his date asks him to.
You shouldn’t think that you’re supposed to be this person. Don’t give in to the expectations people might have of you and don’t give in to this idea that you need to be someone you’re not just so that people like you.
Don’t start playing video games just because your crush likes video games – play video games because it’s something you’re interested in. Don’t force yourself to read boring books just because your crush is a bookworm.
Do you. Live your life. Wait for the people who appreciate who you really are and what you’re interested in.
Learn to accept yourself and embrace who you are. Don’t live searching for validation.
Some people are like Celia (Laura Marano) in that they put this facade and pretend to be someone they’re not. (Catfishing, hello!)
Sometimes they do it because they simply want to be someone else, and sometimes they do it because they are trying to protect themselves.
If you’re not genuine with who you are, what you say, and what you do, things can get real messy real quick. Living in fear is never a good plan. It won’t make you feel good, in the long run.
If people like the facade you’re putting up, but not the real you, that’s on them, and whether or not someone likes you, that’s also on them. People are people and they’ll like what they want to like, and the only thing you can do is to be. yourself. You’ll attract the right people that way.
Don’t put your happiness into someone or something else.
Happiness is an internal thing. “Happiness” always a touchy subject and “what it means to be happy” is always going to be a heavy, uncomfortable conversation. The fact of the matter is, nothing in life is constant and nothing is guaranteed. Don’t rely your happiness on someone else or something else.
Brooks wants to date the hot, popular girl and get into Yale because both would be a dream come true for him. Sure, that’s great and all. And maybe that would make him happy.
Maybe achieving your goals and fulfilling your wildest fantasies are what you want the most out of life, but will it actually keep you happy? How long will it keep you happy for?
No one can make you happy except for yourself. So if you are your authentic self with someone else, that’s when you’ll be able to find some kind of joy.